Ancient Humor Lover Gifts

"No, you may not cut in!"

"In two million years from now people like me will still be very rich tanks to idiots like you!"

"If you're tired of stegosaur, go kill something else."

The Trojan Beagle.

As the world emerges from the last ice age Ug & Og discuss a historic agreement to reduce CO2 emissions from woolly mammoth barbecues.

"I've considered portraiture, but everyone is so ugly."

"My dad can't talk yet, but he's learned to wave bye-bye."

'The village's oldest inhabitant? We did have one, but he died.'

Two men toting a dog in a carriage by foot, while the dog sticks his head out the window.

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: Moscow 1917

The discoverer of fire meets the discoverer of marijuana

"Call this an iceberg? When I was a kid we wouldn't have called this an iceburg!"

"Don't bother gathering carbs for me, I'm on the Paleo diet."

"Is it free-range?"

"Google Earth must have a defective camera. There's a big red spot above our location."

'Gentlemen, invent your engines.'

'Do you know what's worse than being a mummy? Being a mummy with prostate!'

"Hey Arthur, check it out, a shooting star. That's a sure sign of luck, my friend."

'Do you mind if I share your post on my wall?'

'They're called 'numbers' -- Now we can have public opinion polls!'

"Has he had all his shots"

"All I need now is a trainer!"

"Gorg, you've got to let yourself evolve!"

'I just invented business!'

'Of course it's not signed. Writing hasn't been invented yet.'

"I promise you. One day granite kitchens will be the in thing."

"Hey! I was trained in 1948 and was good enough for then, so it's good enough for now....whipper-snapper!"

The Enemy

"This is what I use for social media."

'I'll wait for Harold one more year. He hasn't crossed the finish line yet from the 1932 Olympic's marathon.'

"Ooops is a bit of an understatement, don't you think Cardigan?"

"I bought a fake rock to cover up this ugly rock."