Ancient Laughter Enthusiast Gifts

Pharaoh on the toilet.

"Oh, I like coming to the dentists. It's the only place where people actually ask me to spit!"

"Take two pies to the face and call me in the morning."

"I don't know whether to be mad that you had water this whole time or impressed with your commitment to the joke."

"In two million years from now people like me will still be very rich tanks to idiots like you!"

The discoverer of fire meets the discoverer of marijuana

King and Jester

'I see we've got some techies in tonight.'

'Do you know what's worse than being a mummy? Being a mummy with prostate!'

"Ok, ok, how's everyone feeling tonight besides a thousand dollars poorer?"

'...I thought maybe your brain had developed the ability to reason before mine.'

"Hmm, well, I wouldn't worry too much. This condition is very common in your profession."

'In this pyramid we are unionized. We don't accept more than 50 lashes per day.'

"...dry your eyes, m'boy, and always remember: Laugh, and the world laughs with you. Weep, and the world laughs AT you."

'A friendly reminder, Mr. Parker: There's only room for one long, raucous, 'what-a-stupid-question' laugh in this company, and it's not yours.'

Tragedy and Material

'That's odd. For most people, getting a pet helps lower blood pressure.'

"I didn't discover fire, but I was the first to encircle it with stones."

'Archaeologists discover the earliest ancient texts.'

'It's a knock-knock joke.'

'Oh dear, it looks like the men have been talking about work again.'

Kid has pot stuck on his head.

"Open mike night"

'You are here' T-shirt,

'About this tithing business -- do You accept manna?'

Bucky's dream of becoming a stand-up comedian ended abruptly the very first time he stepped into the spotlight.

Isaac Newton's brother, Bobo, discovers levity.

'Have you done any stand-up?'

"Oh no! The gods must have been cutting their toenails again!"

'Sir, making mistakes is a craft, but making things up the way we do is art.'

"I couldn't put in down boss. Hard hitting, straight to the point..sure to be a best seller."

'I can't believe this. . . 'There was a young man from Nantucket...'

Ross Noble

'Ha, ha! -- Neanderthals can't jump!'

"It's just the milk talking."