Ancient Laughter Enthusiast Pillows

Pharaoh on the toilet.

"Oh, I like coming to the dentists. It's the only place where people actually ask me to spit!"

"Take two pies to the face and call me in the morning."

"I don't know whether to be mad that you had water this whole time or impressed with your commitment to the joke."

The discoverer of fire meets the discoverer of marijuana

"In two million years from now people like me will still be very rich tanks to idiots like you!"

King and Jester

'Do you know what's worse than being a mummy? Being a mummy with prostate!'

'I see we've got some techies in tonight.'

"Ok, ok, how's everyone feeling tonight besides a thousand dollars poorer?"

'In this pyramid we are unionized. We don't accept more than 50 lashes per day.'

'A friendly reminder, Mr. Parker: There's only room for one long, raucous, 'what-a-stupid-question' laugh in this company, and it's not yours.'

"...dry your eyes, m'boy, and always remember: Laugh, and the world laughs with you. Weep, and the world laughs AT you."

Tragedy and Material

'That's odd. For most people, getting a pet helps lower blood pressure.'

"I didn't discover fire, but I was the first to encircle it with stones."

Kid has pot stuck on his head.

'You are here' T-shirt,

'It's a knock-knock joke.'

'Oh dear, it looks like the men have been talking about work again.'

"Open mike night"

'About this tithing business -- do You accept manna?'

Bucky's dream of becoming a stand-up comedian ended abruptly the very first time he stepped into the spotlight.

"It's just the milk talking."

Carbon Dating Agency

'Ha, ha! -- Neanderthals can't jump!'

"I couldn't put in down boss. Hard hitting, straight to the point..sure to be a best seller."

"Oh no! The gods must have been cutting their toenails again!"

'Have you done any stand-up?'

'I can't believe this. . . 'There was a young man from Nantucket...'

'Sir, making mistakes is a craft, but making things up the way we do is art.'