Divine Laughter Enthusiast Pillows

God laughs with you, not at you - unless you pray for something stupid.

"I never knew God was such a sports fan."

Night-time halo

'Why me Lord?' '...because yo have animal magnetism Noah...'

"Did you remember to back up the last 4.5 billion years?"

'Let's have some fun... give Eve extra memory.'

"OMG, LOL!"

"It's cool – God told us to!"

'It's not for myself, you understand."

"And on the twelfth day the Lord just puttered around... Did I put that cloud there? Looks out of place. Did I do that? Oh, well..."

"But you can eat as much as you want from the tree of bullshit."

"And almighty God said to Adam, 'Get a room already will ya!'" "Little known fact from the Book of Genesis."

"My name's God, and I approve this message."

Needless to say, God forgot the legs.

"Whew! What a day! I just get out of bed and all Hell breaks loose."

"No, you cannot have another planet. You only played with the last one for a week."

'Oh, sure -- but He won't let US have pets!'

'5.40pm on the 2nd day....and still waiting for the surveyor'

Shortly after being accepted into John's heart, Jesus lodged in aorta.

'Now that's what I call a religious broadcast.'

'Let's see,,, You're answering prayers until 9:30,, Your Armageddon meeting's been pushed to 2:00 and it looks like your speaking engagement in Mrs, Ingersol's head is postponed 'til Thursday,'

'I invited God to be one of my friends on Facebook and he's turned me down!'

Mrs. Almighty.

'Actually, we were hoping for a less high-maintenance God.'

Don't Walk on the Water

People forget, on the 8th and 9th days I created the long weekend.

The Biggest Forest Fire Starter

God changes His will.

'Don't sweat it - We grade on the curve.'

"It was a gift from god."

'That sure was a disaster of a first date!'

Saint Peter reviews a man's sins.

"Ugh, it rings every time an angel gets his wings - how do I put it in silent mode?"

'Thank Me it's Friday.'

'This is ridiculous! I'v enever had a sick day in my life!'