Divine Joke Lover Pillows

'Don't sweat it - We grade on the curve.'

"Look, it's manna or nothing - No WAY He's going to give us ham sandwiches!"

Placed by the Gideons

'Express Line, Ten sins or less'

'Things have really livened up down there since You introduced SEXUAL reproduction.'

Night-time halo

"I never knew God was such a sports fan."

'Why me Lord?' '...because yo have animal magnetism Noah...'

Clown God

"OMG, LOL!"

'Let's have some fun... give Eve extra memory.'

"It's cool – God told us to!"

"Did you remember to back up the last 4.5 billion years?"

'It's not for myself, you understand."

"This Adam and Eve thing -- Is there a warranty?"

"And on the twelfth day the Lord just puttered around... Did I put that cloud there? Looks out of place. Did I do that? Oh, well..."

"And almighty God said to Adam, 'Get a room already will ya!'" "Little known fact from the Book of Genesis."

"But you can eat as much as you want from the tree of bullshit."

'Well, there go all MY plans....'

''No other gods before me'? Oh - You're one of THOSE types.'

Lesbians for Christ

Needless to say, God forgot the legs.

"My name's God, and I approve this message."

"I can never remember if it's smite or smote."

"Whew! What a day! I just get out of bed and all Hell breaks loose."

The Reason for Storms

"No, you cannot have another planet. You only played with the last one for a week."

"That's my boy!"

Shortly after being accepted into John's heart, Jesus lodged in aorta.

'5.40pm on the 2nd day....and still waiting for the surveyor'

'Oh, sure -- but He won't let US have pets!'

"Those who fail to capitalize pronouns referring to me are doomed to face my wrath! Otherwise I'm pretty laissez-faire."

'I guess it was a mistake to make them self-starting.'

"We use the proceeds to help offset the cost of your eternal salvation."

"I've got dominion, I've got dominion..."