Divine Joke Collector Pillows

'On that Noah thing, just rinse and repeat as necessary.'

"Waitress, have you smoked salmon..?"

'A burp or a fart, I can excuse, but throwing up a pellet of fur and bones? That's gross dude!'

"It's OK, I'm preordained."

'Oh man I've got a splitting headache.'

Lactose Intolerant

The Rooster Comedian.

Password Error: Snow White and the seven dwarfs not recognised as eight characters.

Clown God

'Amscray,fuzzbrain - no carnivores allowed

Suffering from Cooties?

"Well, that certainly killed my buzz."

Job Vacancy: Human cannonball. Applicants must of the right calibre

'Yeah, I agree: It's hard to impress females by looking virile and strong when you're all pink...'

Useless add-ons.

Irritable trowel syndrome.

'Why would anyone order a pint of stoat?'

"They're not Levi Strauss - they're not Levi Tate."

"I know my drinking limits.The problem is that I can never reach them - I simply fall down."

"...and she said 'MOO!'"

'The funny part is that the aerial was fine -- the TV set was just unplugged!'

'Looks like somebody needs to lay off of the authentic angel food cake!'

My daddy ate my homework

Mexican Jumping Balls.

Shark infested custard!

'Finish your homework first, Og... then you can watch the wall.'

"I must insist on my lawyer present."

Cheating Death.

Told you...Nonsense compulsive disorder.

Man takes picutre of other man holding up huge worm at Bait Shop.

Psychiatrist - "Doctor, I keep imagining I'm being followed by an impersonator."

'Alphabet soup? What's alphabet?'

"Turn your head and cough."

'What does coincide mean?' 'It's what you do when it starts to rain.'

'Take one of these three times a day until you start to feel better.'