Classic Joke Collector Pillows

'Finish your homework first, Og... then you can watch the wall.'

'The grass may be greener on the other side, but I'm danged if we could ever climb the fence,Alf!'

"Waitress, have you smoked salmon..?"

"I've done this procedure so often I could do it in my sleep. But that's only happened twice – that I'll admit to."

'A burp or a fart, I can excuse, but throwing up a pellet of fur and bones? That's gross dude!'

"It's OK, I'm preordained."

'Oh man I've got a splitting headache.'

The Rooster Comedian.

Password Error: Snow White and the seven dwarfs not recognised as eight characters.

'My medical school believed laughter is the best medicine.

'Amscray,fuzzbrain - no carnivores allowed

Job Vacancy: Human cannonball. Applicants must of the right calibre

"Well, that certainly killed my buzz."

Useless add-ons.

Suffering from Cooties?

'Yeah, I agree: It's hard to impress females by looking virile and strong when you're all pink...'

Irritable trowel syndrome.

"They're not Levi Strauss - they're not Levi Tate."

'Why would anyone order a pint of stoat?'

"I know my drinking limits.The problem is that I can never reach them - I simply fall down."

"...and she said 'MOO!'"

'The funny part is that the aerial was fine -- the TV set was just unplugged!'

'Looks like somebody needs to lay off of the authentic angel food cake!'

Cheating Death.

Mexican Jumping Balls.

"I cross the road to forget."

Told you...Nonsense compulsive disorder.

Shark infested custard!

'Alphabet soup? What's alphabet?'

Man takes picutre of other man holding up huge worm at Bait Shop.

My daddy ate my homework

"I must insist on my lawyer present."

Psychiatrist - "Doctor, I keep imagining I'm being followed by an impersonator."

"Turn your head and cough."

'What does coincide mean?' 'It's what you do when it starts to rain.'