Divine Laughter Seeker Pillows

"The Hebrews are saying that you're a control freak."

Sympathetic nursing will work wonders

"On the eighth day, God found a lot of assembly parts left over."

'Before you can enter, you need to punch in the verification code so we can be certain that you're a real soul,'

The only time cats are known to laugh.

"Just because we're hyenas doesn't mean we always have to get Laughing Cow cheese."

"OMG, LOL!"

"Don't you just hate restaurants that make you feel rushed?"

Wet Cement. Always the joker, aren't you, Ernie?

The loving, yet vengeful God of Cheshire!

"What did Jesus order?"

"Projectile hairballing."

'No Fred, this one is one me!'

'Ben just fired my ten guage goose gun. He should be coming back this way any minute now.'

"I'm not a doctor, but I don't think the problem is with your bladder, Bob."

Drunk Barber

'In the alternate universe I've come up with, everything would be exactly the same except cats would bark.'

he used to belong to a cartoonist

'When Johhny told everyone he was going to be a comedian they all laughed...'

'Because I'm so sick of those movies, now go get me a romantic comedy.'

Bald Man Overcomb

"You'll have to excuse my date. He spontaneously combusts from time to time."

"I've always wanted to do this - 'knock, knock...who's there?'"

Football heads...

'Ha, ha! But seriously folks...'

'When Einstein wrote about time and relativity he must have been watching a football game where the last 30 seconds took two hours.'

"Ok. . . who added the yellow?"

'I'm new here...how can you tell the real 'Elvis' from the impersonators?'

"Imagine! In the past year alone, Thomas Jefferson has learned to speak Swahili and play the glockenspiel."

'He's not in now. This is his secwatawy.'

When Stupid People Get an Idea

Comedy Store - Canned Laughter delivery.

"From here on out it's term and conditions."

Frank and Ernie's Classic Cars. '40s - '50s - '60s. Hi! Do you have any cars with fins in the back? Sorry, sir, nothing with Fins in the back -- but there are a couple with Norwegians in the trunk!

"Looks like we're in trouble now...he's got four bars on that thing."