Divine Humor Aficionado Pillows

"Did you remember to back up the last 4.5 billion years?"

'5.40pm on the 2nd day....and still waiting for the surveyor'

'Thank you for calling the Pearly Gates.. your prayers are important to us and may be monitored for training purposes.'

"I never knew God was such a sports fan."

Night-time halo

"Intelligent design...well, duh!"

'I was hoping you'd sign them 'To my good buddy Moses!''

"On the eighth day, God found a lot of assembly parts left over."

'Why me Lord?' '...because yo have animal magnetism Noah...'

'It's not for myself, you understand."

"I don't know… Did you try Googling it?"

"OMG, LOL!"

'Let's have some fun... give Eve extra memory.'

"It's cool – God told us to!"

Zeus's Caddy

I'm sorry, all our angels are busy at the moment. Please hold and your prayers will be answered in the order it was received.

'Oh-oh -- What hath He wrought now?'

"And on the twelfth day the Lord just puttered around... Did I put that cloud there? Looks out of place. Did I do that? Oh, well..."

"But you can eat as much as you want from the tree of bullshit."

"And almighty God said to Adam, 'Get a room already will ya!'" "Little known fact from the Book of Genesis."

'Read that last part back to me.'

Vicar wearing sunglasses.

'I'm afraid there is no Book of Loophole.'

God pulling the plug on January 1st 2000

'And on June 30th of that same year, you used The Bible as a coaster?'

"No, you cannot have another planet. You only played with the last one for a week."

Needless to say, God forgot the legs.

"My name's God, and I approve this message."

"Whew! What a day! I just get out of bed and all Hell breaks loose."

God's Law.

"I'm starting to prefer the ones who don't believe in me."

"Maybe you're right. Maybe the multiple exclamation points come across as over excited and insincere."

''Born again'? -- but I was just born five years ago!'