Divine Humor Aficionado Pillows

'Yeah, Saint Peter here. I locked myself out again.'

"Did you remember to back up the last 4.5 billion years?"

'5.40pm on the 2nd day....and still waiting for the surveyor'

'Thank you for calling the Pearly Gates.. your prayers are important to us and may be monitored for training purposes.'

'Whe they said 'God is my Judge', I didn't realize He was a real attorney.'

"I never knew God was such a sports fan."

Night-time halo

"Intelligent design...well, duh!"

'I was hoping you'd sign them 'To my good buddy Moses!''

'Why me Lord?' '...because yo have animal magnetism Noah...'

"On the eighth day, God found a lot of assembly parts left over."

"OMG, LOL!"

"It's cool – God told us to!"

"I don't know… Did you try Googling it?"

'Let's have some fun... give Eve extra memory.'

'It's not for myself, you understand."

Zeus's Caddy

I'm sorry, all our angels are busy at the moment. Please hold and your prayers will be answered in the order it was received.

'Oh-oh -- What hath He wrought now?'

"And almighty God said to Adam, 'Get a room already will ya!'" "Little known fact from the Book of Genesis."

"But you can eat as much as you want from the tree of bullshit."

"And on the twelfth day the Lord just puttered around... Did I put that cloud there? Looks out of place. Did I do that? Oh, well..."

'Read that last part back to me.'

"Your mom needs to know that you made it here OK, and your dad wants to know if you could use a few bucks."

Vicar wearing sunglasses.

God passing the time.

'I'm afraid there is no Book of Loophole.'

God pulling the plug on January 1st 2000

'And on June 30th of that same year, you used The Bible as a coaster?'

The Assumption of Mary

Needless to say, God forgot the legs.

No, I'm not going to aim at that mouse, either!

"My name's God, and I approve this message."

"Whew! What a day! I just get out of bed and all Hell breaks loose."

"No, you cannot have another planet. You only played with the last one for a week."