Devotee Of Divine Humor Pillows

'The Red Sea partings, today 8:34am and 4:26pm'

'Whe they said 'God is my Judge', I didn't realize He was a real attorney.'

Night-time halo

"I never knew God was such a sports fan."

"Intelligent design...well, duh!"

'I was hoping you'd sign them 'To my good buddy Moses!''

"On the eighth day, God found a lot of assembly parts left over."

'Why me Lord?' '...because yo have animal magnetism Noah...'

"I don't know… Did you try Googling it?"

"It's cool – God told us to!"

"OMG, LOL!"

"Did you remember to back up the last 4.5 billion years?"

'It's not for myself, you understand."

'Let's have some fun... give Eve extra memory.'

I'm sorry, all our angels are busy at the moment. Please hold and your prayers will be answered in the order it was received.

'Oh-oh -- What hath He wrought now?'

"And almighty God said to Adam, 'Get a room already will ya!'" "Little known fact from the Book of Genesis."

"And on the twelfth day the Lord just puttered around... Did I put that cloud there? Looks out of place. Did I do that? Oh, well..."

"But you can eat as much as you want from the tree of bullshit."

'Read that last part back to me.'

"Your mom needs to know that you made it here OK, and your dad wants to know if you could use a few bucks."

Vicar wearing sunglasses.

God passing the time.

'I'm afraid there is no Book of Loophole.'

"My name's God, and I approve this message."

Needless to say, God forgot the legs.

"Whew! What a day! I just get out of bed and all Hell breaks loose."

"No, you cannot have another planet. You only played with the last one for a week."

Out for lunch... GOD

''Born again'? -- but I was just born five years ago!'

"Maybe you're right. Maybe the multiple exclamation points come across as over excited and insincere."

Excommunicate Me.

'Have you got anything for omnipotence?'

'5.40pm on the 2nd day....and still waiting for the surveyor'

You may have hired the best lawyer but I don't think that you can sue God because of a downgoing Dow Jones, sir.