Devotee Of Divine Humor Gifts

'The Red Sea partings, today 8:34am and 4:26pm'

"I never knew God was such a sports fan."

Night-time halo

"Intelligent design...well, duh!"

'I was hoping you'd sign them 'To my good buddy Moses!''

"On the eighth day, God found a lot of assembly parts left over."

'Why me Lord?' '...because yo have animal magnetism Noah...'

'It's not for myself, you understand."

"Did you remember to back up the last 4.5 billion years?"

"I don't know… Did you try Googling it?"

'Let's have some fun... give Eve extra memory.'

"OMG, LOL!"

"It's cool – God told us to!"

I'm sorry, all our angels are busy at the moment. Please hold and your prayers will be answered in the order it was received.

'Oh-oh -- What hath He wrought now?'

"And on the twelfth day the Lord just puttered around... Did I put that cloud there? Looks out of place. Did I do that? Oh, well..."

"But you can eat as much as you want from the tree of bullshit."

"And almighty God said to Adam, 'Get a room already will ya!'" "Little known fact from the Book of Genesis."

'Read that last part back to me.'

Vicar wearing sunglasses.

'I'm afraid there is no Book of Loophole.'

"Whew! What a day! I just get out of bed and all Hell breaks loose."

Needless to say, God forgot the legs.

"My name's God, and I approve this message."

"No, you cannot have another planet. You only played with the last one for a week."

Excommunicate Me.

Shortly after being accepted into John's heart, Jesus lodged in aorta.

"Maybe you're right. Maybe the multiple exclamation points come across as over excited and insincere."

'Have you got anything for omnipotence?'

''Born again'? -- but I was just born five years ago!'

'5.40pm on the 2nd day....and still waiting for the surveyor'

Out for lunch... GOD