Ancient Comedy Fan Gifts

'I can't believe this. . . 'There was a young man from Nantucket...'

'I'm so happy I could help you with your allergy to snakes, Miss Medusa!'

'Our regular programs will not be seen tonight, because our Station Manager is in a 'Three Stooges' mood.'

'Sigh! So that's what love is all about...'

"In two million years from now people like me will still be very rich tanks to idiots like you!"

"It's time you had those dinosaur hips replaced."

'You must have misunderstood, dear -- I'm sure they don't sell old generals at government auctions!'

Emergency Disguise at the CIA

Inventor of the Tudor spirit-level

'Do you know what's worse than being a mummy? Being a mummy with prostate!'

"It's overdosed on Parakeetamol."

'...please switch of all mobile phones, paging devices and alarm watches...'

'Wait till the big dumb nut gets home and finds out he's got a wig.'

Moon Line UP

"It's a land flowing with milk and honey, with a small but lively arts district."

'That's a bad omen no sooner does he invent the wheel than he has the first ever road traffic accident.'

Carpe diem

'The MCC celebrate a famous victory' group of dodgy looking old English men holding drinking glasses

Its a poor heart that never rejoices

'No wonder this is so hard to translate - it's a note from his doctor.'

"Keep an eye on Old Bound Volume of Harpers. He's on the make."

'We'll return to the evening news right after this message from the Three Stooges....'

'We've been picking up your radio broadcasts- You must be Fibber McGee and Molly'

Charles Darwin, stand-up comic

Old Martin Chuzzlewit Suspects the Landlady without Reason

'Somebody got some sun.'

'Wellington!...Come take a look at this!...I've never seen anything like it!...Some sort of early sun worship etching perhaps!'

"Miss, you said that a single rabbit could reproduce a hundred times a year? What about a married rabbit?"

"Is it wrong to be evasive and not answer questions?"

"I'd like to donate my body to comedy."

1839: Rare photograph of wagons on the 'Organ Trail.'

"Knock! Knock! Who's there? What, seriously? You mean you haven't installed personal security cameras?"

I suspect we'll find the coffin painter in that last one.

Jackie Gleason's Old Desk: Trays read: InOutPow, right in the kisser.

A knight struggling to fit into his armour