Amateur Philosophers Gifts

5pm Happy Hour. 6pm discussion: what is true happiness?

'If the country ran short of booze, do you think the government would see some of its strategic reserve?'

"I still haven't decided if I want to be unemployed as an English major or as a Communications major."

Humans...What is their purpose?

Road sign: 'No Passing Zone... This, too, shall pass.'

"Je suis Descartes, donc, je pense."

"Dad, please tell me again about that mass production and consumerism."

"One year closer to college!"

'The Questioner'

'Wow! -- Talk about a paradigm shift!'

"Hey, I'm just playing devil's avocado!"

'The meaning of life is dog food.'

Pastorius wonders why.

"Existentialist Trail. Get lost then found. Nietzsche Park System"

Zenemies.

WELCOME TO KINDERGARTEN!, 'Boy, talk about psychobabbl!'

"Ever feel like even when you're barking at something you're still barking at nothing?"

'So what are you studying, young man?'

"...I don't believe in the past or the future. I don't even believe in right now. Everyone remembers the past differently. Everyone imagines the future differently. Everyone even disagrees about what's happening right now. So who's to say tomorrow what you and I did tonight?"

"Mrs. Marsha Mullhouse, of Kenosha, Wisconsin, asks, "Are You subject to the laws of physics, or are the laws of physics subject to You?"

"I never subscribed to Hobbes' state of nature theory until the night we left the kids without a sitter."

Arthur Schopenhauer

'There is no past. No future. Only the present, which is changing every instant. Time is merely an illusion. Got it?'

'He's got classic form, but if he doesn't improve his grades he won't get into college. He doesn't think.'

"What's so wrong with always living in the present?"

'How much stuff can I get away with and still go to heaven?'

"If the stars should appear one night in a thousand years, how would men believe and adore, and preserve for many generations the remembrance of the city of God which had been shown! … Emerson" "Good boy!"

"Well, I think we come back as newspapers." "You're nuts."

How world war III started.

'All cats have four legs. I have four legs. Therefore, I am a cat.'

Human rights

WELCOME TO KINDERGARTEN! "It was mostly okay, but there's way too much micromanagement!"

'A 'D' in physics and biology, an 'A' in reading aloud. What will ever become of this kid?'

'I'm afraid I'll fall and no one will hear me.'

'And the life of man, solitary, poore, nasty, brutish, and short.' -- Thomas Hobbes, 'I dated a guy like that once.'