Philosophy Enthusiast Gifts

Optimist/Pessimist/Me

"But, remember, you're responsible for your own happiness."

"It's just a theory, but perhaps it's their opposable thumbs that makes them crazy."

"If I am not for myself, who will be for me? If I am only for myself, what am I? If not now, when?" "This just in" "1. Nobody - 2. A schmuck - 3. Maybe tomorrow."

"Exactly what is this 'nothing' I've been hearing so much about?"

'Whoa! Half empty! Definitely half empty!'

'Welcome to another one of life's brick walls standing directly in your path! Please select from the following options...'

'The problem is I can't tell the difference between a deeply wise, intuitive nudge from the Universe and one of my own bone-headed ideas!'

"Are we there yet?"

'Who was first?'

Chicken and egg in a waiting room: 'Who was first?'

"The world would be a better place if everyone just thought the way I do."

"'Is it right? ... Is it fair?' Get a grip Carlton - we're a law firm!"

'One day, son, all this will be yours.'

'I hope we're not going to have the same old argument.'

'I can explain the meaning of life, but I can't explain Medicare drug coverage.'

'My asset allocation? 40% 'ying' and 60% 'yang'.'

'I litigate, therefore I am.'

'I'm not sure if I'm an optimist or a pessimist. . . I see the glass half-clean.'

All we have in life is this moment...

'Mike! How the heck are you?' - 'The usual, Pete! Spiritually and emotionally empty, my personal life is a shambles, and I'm near-suicidal!

'All cats have four legs. I have four legs. Therefore, I am a cat.'

Road signs: Life is a Journey (stay left) and Life is a Destination (exit ahead).

"Live today like you're gonna die tomorrow Gus. But we're fruit flies so it's true."

PastFuture.

How To Be In the Moment

Ockham's razor

"It's getting much harder for me to distinguish good from evil. All I'm certain about is what's appropriate and what's inappropriate."

"You picked the wrong religion, period. I'm not going to argue about it."

'It says here that the secret to happiness is to enjoy the present.'

The Wise Man

'The great thing about mindless violence is that it encourages the evolution of mindless altruism.'

'You must realize that desire is the cause of almost all unhappiness - but, just out of curiosity, where could I get a suit like that?'

10 Commandments: God with human rights and big business laws - "Hey, hang on I've only given you the introduction."

Cliffhangers