Light-hearted Philosophy Buff Gifts

'Eve ate the apple, and she's asking if you want to make it two out of three with oranges and bananas?'

Humans...What is their purpose?

"Ooh, ooh, I know this koan! I got it! Pick me! Pick me!"

Road sign: 'No Passing Zone... This, too, shall pass.'

"Je suis Descartes, donc, je pense."

'He was just saying that all things come to him who waits and, sure enough, along came a lightning bolt.'

'The Questioner'

"Dad, please tell me again about that mass production and consumerism."

'Wow! -- Talk about a paradigm shift!'

'The meaning of life is dog food.'

"Philosophy Department. Why may I direct your call?"

'WD-40 un-sticks things that should move and duct tape makes things that shouldn't move, stop.'

"Hey, I'm just playing devil's avocado!"

"Existentialist Trail. Get lost then found. Nietzsche Park System"

Schrodinger's Black Box

"Ever feel like even when you're barking at something you're still barking at nothing?"

Zenemies.

Pastorius wonders why.

"Mrs. Marsha Mullhouse, of Kenosha, Wisconsin, asks, "Are You subject to the laws of physics, or are the laws of physics subject to You?"

"...I don't believe in the past or the future. I don't even believe in right now. Everyone remembers the past differently. Everyone imagines the future differently. Everyone even disagrees about what's happening right now. So who's to say tomorrow what you and I did tonight?"

"I never subscribed to Hobbes' state of nature theory until the night we left the kids without a sitter."

Arthur Schopenhauer

'There is no past. No future. Only the present, which is changing every instant. Time is merely an illusion. Got it?'

How world war III started.

"Well, I think we come back as newspapers." "You're nuts."

Annual Swim Hundreds of Miles, Spawn and Die Marathon.

"What's so wrong with always living in the present?"

"Son, the world is full of disappointments. About 7.7 billion of them."

"If the stars should appear one night in a thousand years, how would men believe and adore, and preserve for many generations the remembrance of the city of God which had been shown! … Emerson" "Good boy!"

'I'm an atheist!'

"An excellent defense. Let's give her the doctorate."

'All cats have four legs. I have four legs. Therefore, I am a cat.'

Human rights

'I'm afraid I'll fall and no one will hear me.'

'And the life of man, solitary, poore, nasty, brutish, and short.' -- Thomas Hobbes, 'I dated a guy like that once.'