Alternative-meat Aficionado Gifts

"I can tell you're enjoying your alternative-meat burger. Look at the beet juice running down your chin!"

Important Food Groups

Vegetarian Birds

"We have; pulled pork, enticed chicken, persuaded lamb, bullied beef, cajoled Turkey..."

A butcher announcing he will kill his own meat

"You had me at alternative milk."

"May I offer you a side of life insurance?"

"What do you have that won't kill me?"

*=Hotdog

'You go ahead and eat. I'm on a raw food diet and surfer isn't part of it.'

"I'm not a total vegetarian, sometimes I like a bit of buffalo."

Vegan Restaurant: ''amburgers! Sausages! RISSOLES!'

Shawn considered himself a vegetarian by proxy.

Family Butcher.

I assure you the animals didn't suffer. All of our meat comes from animals who died naturally of old age while vacationing in Miami.

"Veal or non-veal?"

'Vegetable proteins sure have caught on. I have to go over to Canyon Gulch and round up a herd of soybeans.'

Down on Her.

"Just remember...the main ingredient in all my dishes is love."

Pigs at butcher: 'One day son, all this will be you..'

"Appetizer is almost done."

"We're making progress."

Nothing sweeter than seeing an old couple holding hams.

"I only invest in alternative meat products, so I reject the terms 'Bull' and 'Bear'."

Cooked rare.

'Bovine Growth Hormone.'

Vlad the Impaler - The Later Years.

Low Carb Dieter Birthdays - diving for meat from the pinata.

"Check this out, a 'Grizzly burger', do they honestly think that we'll believe it is made with real bear?"

'But darling, he doesn't kill the cows.'

"Bull, 6 cents a pound"

'Do you mind if my son watches you cook? I'm trying to bring him up to be a vegetarian.'

'I didn't say I wanted my beef on the side. I said I wanted a side of beef.'

"Everything here is very fresh."

Go Veggie...