Rare Meat Aficionado Gifts

Cooked rare.

Cow's Last Will and Testament.

One Man's Meat is Another Man's Poetry

Important Food Groups

"We have; pulled pork, enticed chicken, persuaded lamb, bullied beef, cajoled Turkey..."

"My smelly French cheese is much better than your Canadian beef."

A butcher announcing he will kill his own meat

"May I offer you a side of life insurance?"

'Sure, we pay them for protection but there are unexpected bonuses: nobody can tenderise veel like Luigi or slice beef as fine as Vinny.'

"We get all our meat from a man dressed like a butcher."

"What do you have that won't kill me?"

"I only recommend the 24 oz. Prime rib for big fat guys."

*=Hotdog

Family Butcher.

'MEN! We've got a fire at the cattle shed! Do we want rare, medium or well done?'

"Please stay on the line – your caul is important to us."

"I'm not a total vegetarian, sometimes I like a bit of buffalo."

"I was hoping Calvin would grow up to be top sirloin..."

'I'd like the tongue, please.'

Shawn considered himself a vegetarian by proxy.

I assure you the animals didn't suffer. All of our meat comes from animals who died naturally of old age while vacationing in Miami.

'I was like you once, full of ambition! AND LOOK WHERE IT GOT MEEE!'

"Just remember...the main ingredient in all my dishes is love."

Matador Artificial Insemination.

"I know I have the body of a weak and feeble woman but, hang on a minute, I'm pretty sure I have the heart and stomach of a king, too..."

Down on Her.

"Veal or non-veal?"

Pigs at butcher: 'One day son, all this will be you..'

"Appetizer is almost done."

"We're making progress."

"You'd think over the years one or two of them would catch on."

'Bloomin rare breeds.'

"It says it's 100% ground beef. Only bones, brains, butts and eyeballs. Absolutely no pink slime added..."

'Just between you and me, Mrs Frobish, how'd you like the lowdown on what's really in knockwurst?'

Nothing sweeter than seeing an old couple holding hams.