Meat Aficionado Gifts

It's my loins. They're tender.

'MEN! We've got a fire at the cattle shed! Do we want rare, medium or well done?'

"That`s OK. I like my steak rare."

'What? I got a discount for buying in bulk!'

Man removing the piggy bank slit from roasted pig

'Just between you and me, Mrs Frobish, how'd you like the lowdown on what's really in knockwurst?'

'He tried to fire me.'

Pig Meat.

"It says it's 100% ground beef. Only bones, brains, butts and eyeballs. Absolutely no pink slime added..."

Sausage

"We get all our meat from a man dressed like a butcher."

"Give it to me straight doc, am I cured?"

'Houston, I'm prepared to land...'

Cow's Last Will and Testament.

'Steak Ted?'

One Man's Meat is Another Man's Poetry

'Don't order the Super Duper Jumbo Special.'

"Rump roast?"

'On the contrary... I'm too tough for the steak!'

"Mommy's going to teach you how to make a hamburger."

'We'll never be able to eat it all before it spoils -- how about a rabbit or something instead?'

"Hmmm ... you're right — I forgot the brie."

Important Food Groups

"It's good to know she was butchered for a noble cause."

"I'll have the barbecued half-pounder, with all the ramifications."

"We have; pulled pork, enticed chicken, persuaded lamb, bullied beef, cajoled Turkey..."

6,000 BC: Neolithic Barbecue

"My smelly French cheese is much better than your Canadian beef."

Cow of BEEF

Butcher's shop has 'Cuts of salami' sign: End, Middle, Other End.

"What do you have that won't kill me?"

Platter confusion.

A butcher announcing he will kill his own meat

'Sure, we pay them for protection but there are unexpected bonuses: nobody can tenderise veel like Luigi or slice beef as fine as Vinny.'

"May I offer you a side of life insurance?"