Meat Aficionados Gifts

'Cook it with the ethnic jokes. Here comes Polish sausage.'

Butchers Eye Test

Cow's Last Will and Testament.

One Man's Meat is Another Man's Poetry

'Steak Ted?'

'Don't order the Super Duper Jumbo Special.'

'On the contrary... I'm too tough for the steak!'

"Rump roast?"

'We'll never be able to eat it all before it spoils -- how about a rabbit or something instead?'

Important Food Groups

"Mommy's going to teach you how to make a hamburger."

"I'll have the barbecued half-pounder, with all the ramifications."

6,000 BC: Neolithic Barbecue

"We have; pulled pork, enticed chicken, persuaded lamb, bullied beef, cajoled Turkey..."

"My smelly French cheese is much better than your Canadian beef."

Cow of BEEF

"They won't even try their palate cleansers!"

Butcher's shop has 'Cuts of salami' sign: End, Middle, Other End.

Platter confusion.

"What do you have that won't kill me?"

A butcher announcing he will kill his own meat

"We get all our meat from a man dressed like a butcher."

"I'll see your Sirloin and raise you a New York Strip."

Would you mind putting the barbecue out?

"May I offer you a side of life insurance?"

"If He didn't want us to eat it, why'd He wrap the whole thing in bacon?"

"I only recommend the 24 oz. Prime rib for big fat guys."

"Some protein with my salad? Sure, put a 24 ounce Ribeye in it."

'A lovely day, a good meal, and, thank heaven, no guilt.'

"Please stay on the line – your caul is important to us."

"I was hoping Calvin would grow up to be top sirloin..."

'I'd like the tongue, please.'

'Nice barbecue, Normy!!'

*=Hotdog