Meat Aficionados Gifts

'Cook it with the ethnic jokes. Here comes Polish sausage.'

Butchers Eye Test

Cow's Last Will and Testament.

One Man's Meat is Another Man's Poetry

'Steak Ted?'

'Don't order the Super Duper Jumbo Special.'

"Rump roast?"

'On the contrary... I'm too tough for the steak!'

"It's good to know she was butchered for a noble cause."

"Mommy's going to teach you how to make a hamburger."

Important Food Groups

'We'll never be able to eat it all before it spoils -- how about a rabbit or something instead?'

6,000 BC: Neolithic Barbecue

"I'll have the barbecued half-pounder, with all the ramifications."

"We have; pulled pork, enticed chicken, persuaded lamb, bullied beef, cajoled Turkey..."

"My smelly French cheese is much better than your Canadian beef."

Cow of BEEF

"They won't even try their palate cleansers!"

Butcher's shop has 'Cuts of salami' sign: End, Middle, Other End.

Platter confusion.

'Sure, we pay them for protection but there are unexpected bonuses: nobody can tenderise veel like Luigi or slice beef as fine as Vinny.'

A butcher announcing he will kill his own meat

"I'll see your Sirloin and raise you a New York Strip."

Would you mind putting the barbecue out?

"What do you have that won't kill me?"

"May I offer you a side of life insurance?"

"We get all our meat from a man dressed like a butcher."

"If He didn't want us to eat it, why'd He wrap the whole thing in bacon?"

"I only recommend the 24 oz. Prime rib for big fat guys."

'Nice barbecue, Normy!!'

Family Butcher.

'A lovely day, a good meal, and, thank heaven, no guilt.'

"Hmmm... what would Scooby Doo?"

'I'd like the tongue, please.'

"I was hoping Calvin would grow up to be top sirloin..."