Meat Connoisseur Gifts

'And exactly where did you find the 'antique salami slicer'?'

'Well, yes, we are having you for dinner this evening, and, no, you don't have to bring wine!'

Cow's Last Will and Testament.

"I only recommend the 24 oz. Prime rib for big fat guys."

"Cutting back on meat is hard. Take away the 'M' and you have 'EAT.'"

"I found what it means, but you're not going to like it..."

"You'd think over the years one or two of them would catch on."

Butchers instructions for customers' meat sound as though he is talking about people

"I know I have the body of a weak and feeble woman but, hang on a minute, I'm pretty sure I have the heart and stomach of a king, too..."

"Please stay on the line – your caul is important to us."

'One day my son, all of this will be you,,,'

Notice on Sausage Emporium door - SORRY NO DOGS.

'Your businessman's lunch, sir — Raw meat and whiskey.'

Ham selection at the supermarket meat department.

'I'd like the tongue, please.'

"I was hoping Calvin would grow up to be top sirloin..."

"Uh oh, is that a spit roaster the farmer is putting together?"

"And I'll also take my steak raw thank you."

One Man's Meat is Another Man's Poetry

'We must be 50,000 calories away from home by now.'

'Steak Ted?'

'Don't order the Super Duper Jumbo Special.'

'On the contrary... I'm too tough for the steak!'

"Rump roast?"

Important Food Groups

"Mommy's going to teach you how to make a hamburger."

'We'll never be able to eat it all before it spoils -- how about a rabbit or something instead?'

"I'll have the barbecued half-pounder, with all the ramifications."

"Have you decided on what you'd like to have?"

"We have; pulled pork, enticed chicken, persuaded lamb, bullied beef, cajoled Turkey..."

Butcher's shop has 'Cuts of salami' sign: End, Middle, Other End.

"Regular service or affected?"

Cow of BEEF

"Is that all they taught him at obedience school? How to use a can opener?"

"What do you have that won't kill me?"