Carnivore Connoisseur Gifts

"Enough with the low-hanging fruit. How about some slow-moving meat?"

'No! Not rare, not medium, not well-done: I want my steak raw! Thank you...'

Pre-Need Decisions

'Would you like it rare, very rare or still running? We close in twenty minutes.'

Sick Of A Low-Carb Diet

Lion at a restaurant

One Man's Meat is Another Man's Poetry

"Oh yes sir, white collar—very tender."

"And I'll also take my steak raw thank you."

Ground Game!

what did you do to butcher swenson

'We Brits eat every part of the cow, and use the horn as a toothpick.'

'The only problem being a Beefeater is that I'm a vegetarian.'

'I'm feeling frisky today - I'll have the fresh antelope!'

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

"And which regional cuisine would you be interested in this evening—Northwester, Southwestern, Southeastern, or Northeastern?"

Cow's Last Will and Testament.

'We must be 50,000 calories away from home by now.'

Omar Khayyam Meets Trader Joe

"I come here for the pepper."

'I'm sure M'lady will appreciate the mashed potatoes. Our chef uses only grass-fed single-udder butter.'

'Burl says it only works with corn though if you want to try it.'

"Everything taste so divinely artisanal."

"Keep your glasses on. It will look like twice as much."

'Pigs feet, sir?' 'Are they pickled?'

"Have you decided on what you'd like to have?"

Full English Breakfast.

A burgandy from when the dow hit a record high.

Enjoying a picnic at the rugby ground

"Your mother texted us that you're not getting enough to eat, so I brought you twice what you ordered."

'Six different chefs in six months and they still can't make a decent broth!'

"Regular service or affected?"

"Gazelle's pizza! Delivered fast and delicious... Um, you guys aren't interested in pizza are you!?"

this bordeaux speaks for itself

'Do I really have to remind you again about which one of us earns the truffles, Jean-Claude?'