Meat Enthusiasts Gifts

"I was arguing with a bunch of vegetarians. One thing led to another and I wound up eating something that disagreed with me."

'With all the fooling around with genes that's going on, it really is mystery meat.'

Cow's Last Will and Testament.

'Steak Ted?'

'Don't order the Super Duper Jumbo Special.'

"Rump roast?"

'On the contrary... I'm too tough for the steak!'

Important Food Groups

'We'll never be able to eat it all before it spoils -- how about a rabbit or something instead?'

"Mommy's going to teach you how to make a hamburger."

"We have; pulled pork, enticed chicken, persuaded lamb, bullied beef, cajoled Turkey..."

"I'll have the barbecued half-pounder, with all the ramifications."

6,000 BC: Neolithic Barbecue

Cow of BEEF

Butcher's shop has 'Cuts of salami' sign: End, Middle, Other End.

"May I offer you a side of life insurance?"

A butcher announcing he will kill his own meat

"We get all our meat from a man dressed like a butcher."

Would you mind putting the barbecue out?

Platter confusion.

"What do you have that won't kill me?"

"I'll see your Sirloin and raise you a New York Strip."

"If He didn't want us to eat it, why'd He wrap the whole thing in bacon?"

"I only recommend the 24 oz. Prime rib for big fat guys."

"Oooh... bacon!"

"Please stay on the line – your caul is important to us."

'A lovely day, a good meal, and, thank heaven, no guilt.'

"Some protein with my salad? Sure, put a 24 ounce Ribeye in it."

'Beef Counselor - mad cow, foot and mouth, diet, nutrition, ethics'

"I was hoping Calvin would grow up to be top sirloin..."

'I'd like the tongue, please.'

'Nice barbecue, Normy!!'

*=Hotdog

Family Butcher.