Alternative Healing Gifts

"This is my son the non-traditional healer."

Advertisements for 'Brother Marsh- faith healer and Deacon 'Speed' Alton- emergency room'.

"What did you say about the health of my gut biome?"

"She's fine. She just needs some tofu."

Self help acupuncture

'Don't feel bad — all tree huggers get a splinter now and then.'

'I'm just not sure how much more I can teach you.'

Institute of Health next to Alternative medicine dept

Jesus's First and Less-Heralded Miracle Walk,

'You've got, like, a Feng Shui problem with your pancreas, dude.'

New Age Store.

"You won’t find a more effective antidepressant."

Traditional vs alternative medicine.

Doctor receiving advice from patient's mother

'Doctor, how much acupuncture experience DO you have?'

"This tea isn't helping – I'm taking a gummy."

"Honey, why don’t you tell Tony and Karen about your microdosing-healing-group thingy or whatever the heck it is?"

Admit it Doc. You're jealous because my home remedy worked better than your fancy prescription!

"All I take anymore is mushrooms for my anxiety, ketamine for my depression, and ibuprofen for the goblins constantly eating my feet."

"Looks like your Yang is on the move again."

If all else falls...Mom's Chicken Soup

'Interesting presentation Bradley, except you were supposed to be discussing the nature of the DOW.'

'Who would have thought there was a market for it? We're going to be rich George!...'

"I'm putting you on country music."

Shaman reads magazine entitled 'Witch Doctor'.

'We can try to fit it with an artificial limb.'

Transcend Dental Medication: "Prepare to let go of the pain."

"I thought I'd give Western medicine one more chance."

"I've never seen Tia Carmen so excited about a grand opening."

'I have to admit I was skeptical at first, but their hooves are magical, Magical, I say!'

'Thyme heals all wounds.'

"CBD… oil… CBD… oil…"

Man to other coming out of Alternative Health Club: 'I had total joint replacement - they switched me from hemp to medical marijuana.'

Extreme Naturopathic Medicine.

'I told you nothing was out of joint but your nose.'