Alternative Healing Seeker Gifts

Fakir Shrink.

"She's fine. She just needs some tofu."

Self help acupuncture

Hot Pie Therapy

"I only like their bad albums – the good ones are too commercial."

'With these alternative fertility treatments you never quite know how things turn out,'

Jesus's First and Less-Heralded Miracle Walk,

"All I take anymore is mushrooms for my anxiety, ketamine for my depression, and ibuprofen for the goblins constantly eating my feet."

"I thought I'd give Western medicine one more chance."

"I've never seen Tia Carmen so excited about a grand opening."

Shaman reads magazine entitled 'Witch Doctor'.

We at pharmacorp are 100% behind the benefits of spiritual and artistic therapies which is why we've developed 'megazymol' to enhance the experience!

'Take two of these, and call me in the morning!'

Psychiatry. Ordinary therapeutic techniques have been unsuccessful, but I have a crazy idea that just might work!

"Aren't you getting a little carried away with this herbal medicine, Doctor?"

"CBD… oil… CBD… oil…"

"Okay, Jaxcsunn, stay still in the crystal circle while I douse you in essential oils."

'He touched you and you can walk again? I just got an illegible prescription.'

Flo figured that since she was using medical marijuana during chemo, she might as well go hippy retro.

'I've got an appointment with Mr. Payne.' - 'He'll see you now.' - 'Okay, take a deep br-' - 'Gah!' - 'Great, now turn ov-' - 'Argh!' - 'And a final tw-' - 'Mummy!' - '*Sob*' - 'Okay, all done.' - 'Did you, by any chance...' - '...hear you crying...'

'I can't wait for a generic version of eyes of newts to come out.'

'Got anything for a headache?'

'How is the detox going?'

"He went to an alternative therapy seminar to find ways of reducing his stress levels..."

"Lately my joints are stiff." "You're rollin' 'em too tight. Try vaping."

"And if Ooh, Eeh, Ooh Ah Ah doesn't work, we'll try Walla Walla Bing Bang."

Acupuncture - Pin the Tail on the Donkey.

Man passes Holistic Health Clinic and sees Holistic Donuts.

"It's just that you might find food a lot cheaper!"

"I thought you said you were dating a rich doctor!"

'How optimistic are you about the future?'

"The doctor says your injury is not serious...we're going home."

"She's fine. She just needs some tofu."

Acupressure Gauge

'Laughter is not always the best medicine, Mr. Jonic.'