Alternative Health Seeker Gifts

Shaman reads magazine entitled 'Witch Doctor'.

'How is the detox going?'

"What did you say about the health of my gut biome?"

'Let me through, I'm at Doctor.com.'

"Today we'll be performing some much needed maintenance on Miss Trimbles weak pelvic floor."

'I'm just not sure how much more I can teach you.'

"I only like their bad albums – the good ones are too commercial."

Institute of Health next to Alternative medicine dept

'He taught me the importance of taking a walk each day.'

"My wife says she wants you to make me fit for purpose."

Exercise Bars

'Our health-care system - eat organically.'

Stopping smoking at work had given Tim the energy to explore his creativity ... 'And I like to call this my dance of the fourth quarters 'profit and loss' account.'

'Good news! Throwing yourself at the mercy of the cholesterol seems to have worked.'

'Do you think I need to eat less. Do you have a book you could recommend to tell me how?'

"That's good. Now extend the fingers and lose the attitude."

"I said remember those extra years we added to our lives by good clean livin'?"

"Looks like your Yang is on the move again."

An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of insurance forms.

'Please help mommy lose some weight. She gets grumpy when she's on a diet that's not working.'

'Who would have thought there was a market for it? We're going to be rich George!...'

'It's not my fault that I've developed habits that cannot be sustained.'

'Does the gym have a motorized version of this cycle?'

"Now that you mention it, I have to admit, the daily grind IS starting to get to me!"

'I don't get it! I've been exercising for six weeks now and haven't lost a pound.'

"Go out and play. You can't just sit there watching wall all day."

'I'm going to suggest increasing your level of activity.'

No matter what I do, I still look more like a 'before' picture than an 'after' picture.

Man to other coming out of Alternative Health Club: 'I had total joint replacement - they switched me from hemp to medical marijuana.'

'Isn't it romantic, being married in the same alley where we first met eight months ago?'

"You call that complementary!?!"

Cures for the void.

Three cases of therapy-resistant low self-esteem

'Yes, yes, yes, now seriously, what can we do to improve our health?'

'St John's wort ambulance' - hippy ambulance.