Health Seekers Gifts

"I said remember those extra years we added to our lives by good clean livin'?"

Liposuction Drive Thru

"Can you recommend a good exercise program?"

'If you had a tapeworm, would you keep it?'

'How is the new diet going?'

'Let me through, I'm at Doctor.com.'

"Today we'll be performing some much needed maintenance on Miss Trimbles weak pelvic floor."

Institute of Health next to Alternative medicine dept

'He taught me the importance of taking a walk each day.'

'Our health-care system - eat organically.'

Exercise Bars

"My wife says she wants you to make me fit for purpose."

'Good news! Throwing yourself at the mercy of the cholesterol seems to have worked.'

Stopping smoking at work had given Tim the energy to explore his creativity ... 'And I like to call this my dance of the fourth quarters 'profit and loss' account.'

'Do you think I need to eat less. Do you have a book you could recommend to tell me how?'

"That's good. Now extend the fingers and lose the attitude."

"Looks like your Yang is on the move again."

An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of insurance forms.

'Please help mommy lose some weight. She gets grumpy when she's on a diet that's not working.'

'I don't get it! I've been exercising for six weeks now and haven't lost a pound.'

Gym. Instructor. Why do you want to learn kickboxing? I've always wanted to win a fight hands down!

"Now that you mention it, I have to admit, the daily grind IS starting to get to me!"

Hello-BUNS OF STEEL?

'Does the gym have a motorized version of this cycle?'

Shaman reads magazine entitled 'Witch Doctor'.

'It's not my fault that I've developed habits that cannot be sustained.'

'Health Benefits of a Vegan Diet... How the heck did this get here?'

"Go out and play. You can't just sit there watching wall all day."

'I'm going to suggest increasing your level of activity.'

No matter what I do, I still look more like a 'before' picture than an 'after' picture.

"You call that complementary!?!"

Three cases of therapy-resistant low self-esteem

Cures for the void.

Man to other coming out of Alternative Health Club: 'I had total joint replacement - they switched me from hemp to medical marijuana.'

'Yes, yes, yes, now seriously, what can we do to improve our health?'