Health Improvement Seeker Gifts

They hated me.

'If you give up alcohol, cigarettes, sex, red meat, cakes and chocolate, and don't get too excited, you can enjoy life for a few more years yet.'

'My body has rejected every diet I've tried.'

"I spent all day learning productivity hacks"

'Let me through, I'm at Doctor.com.'

"I know it’s an issue, and we’re working on it in therapy."

"Today we'll be performing some much needed maintenance on Miss Trimbles weak pelvic floor."

'Believe me, I know transformation isn't easy. I pulled a muscle once.'

Cat with Lion reflection in mirror

Critisize your weight.

'The second diet of my diet is always the easiest. By then, I'm off my diet.'

"I like you in that one—it gives you an aura of mindfulness."

"Oh, please. Lord, no ... I'm only 50! No, please – anything but reading glasses!"

Institute of Health next to Alternative medicine dept

"My diet plan for you is if it tastes good, spit it out."

'He taught me the importance of taking a walk each day.'

'Our health-care system - eat organically.'

"My wife says she wants you to make me fit for purpose."

"...Wow, if Malcolm Gladwell is right, we need to get a cat who's a Virgo ASAP!"

Exercise Bars

"I haven't lost any weight after two weeks of dieting, but my hair's getting thinner."

Giving Things Up For Lent.

I read an article about the health benefits of dark chocolate so I make sure all the donuts I eat are covered with dark chocolate.

"Albert the Great—what a joke."

"I said remember those extra years we added to our lives by good clean livin'?"

'Do you think I need to eat less. Do you have a book you could recommend to tell me how?'

"How long have I had what problem?"

'I'm sorry, Louis. I should have warned you that I installed a speed bump in front of the refrigerator.'

"How's the job interviews going?" "Not well. Seems they only want the best and the brightest."

"Wings will be cool, I guess, but I'm mostly hoping the braces and pimples fall off."

'You again? You know it's called a mid-life crisis, not mid-week!'

"Looks like your Yang is on the move again."

Stopping smoking at work had given Tim the energy to explore his creativity ... 'And I like to call this my dance of the fourth quarters 'profit and loss' account.'

"That's good. Now extend the fingers and lose the attitude."