Health Improvement Gifts

Man carring plans

"Bye! good luck with the 'stop smoking 'campaign!"

Smokers.

'Now I understand why people want to give them up.'

High blood pressure - watch golf on TV

Stopping smoking at work had given Tim the energy to explore his creativity ... 'And I like to call this my dance of the fourth quarters 'profit and loss' account.'

'I'm sorry, Louis. I should have warned you that I installed a speed bump in front of the refrigerator.'

'Since giving up smoking my huffing and puffing have improved considerably.'

'They do wonders for my hay-fever.'

'To improve your blood pressure you have to let off a little steam, Mr. Hafer.'

"I must insist you stop drinking."

"I have to give up donuts? So, it's fatal then."

"Approaching 10,000 steps."

"She's fine. She just needs some tofu."

2021

"Good For You / Bad For You"

"I don't think you're getting enough stress."

'If you give up alcohol, cigarettes, sex, red meat, cakes and chocolate, and don't get too excited, you can enjoy life for a few more years yet.'

'Personally I take all these programmes with a pinch of salt.'

Self help acupuncture

Dietician to man: 'To address your spare tire we must first get in touch with your inner tube.'

'My body has rejected every diet I've tried.'

"Do you guys serve beer?"

'You've hit the fitness plateau.'

'Something for the weekend, Sir?'

What the Doctor Ordered

'Let me through, I'm at Doctor.com.'

Lady drying hair whilst on exercise bike.

Lactose Intolerant

'Well, well, well...'

"It's not the social stigma. It's the mercury."

Mister Mid-Life Crisis

"I didn't spark joy."

Oscar would laugh whenever he recalled his empty existence before golf.

"Your contents have shifted."