Alternative Health Advocate Gifts

Acupuncturist - 'Please enter your pin'.

"Well, no, I'm not a practicing physician. I'm a non-practicing physician."

"What did you say about the health of my gut biome?"

"Let me assure you that my congressional delegation and I are devoting our full attention to the harmful effects of e-cigarettes. . ."

"I think I've reached that age when I don't remember if I've forgotten something."

'I'm just not sure how much more I can teach you.'

"Hey, it's not all fire and brimstone anymore—one of our nine circles is even smoke-free."

'In a nutshell, foods are drugged and drugs are eaten like food.'

"Unfortunately, there's no cure—there's not even a race for a cure."

"Well, all the symptoms of just another typical case of burnout, I'm afraid."

Now Simon would have nightmares about his mother's failing eyesight.

"For most people, the sense of panic will be mild."

"Yes, also it keeps you fit."

'You've got, like, a Feng Shui problem with your pancreas, dude.'

'Let me get this straight- you went to a GUY-ne-cologist, to discuss MEN-o-pause?'

'Not only does he suffer from anxiety, he makes everyone else suffer from it too.'

Vaccine

A cartoonist at the doctor, in yoga, at home and in therapy

Covid and the Vaccines

Prostate: 51st State

"It's interpret-your-own-test-results day today."

"1. Flimsig used pallets, old foam 2. Stinkum goat wool 3. Beetup recycled lumber 4. Riskig kerosene lamp 5. Stupor hand blown by Nils 6. Smokum found on beach in Mendocino 7. Woblig 100% driftwood"

"Push harder - I still can't see the scale."

"My dream is to have a little house and a white picket fence wired with explosives."

'According to these latest tests, anything can cause anything.'

30 Days Has Movember

"Our medical benefits are quite limited, basically we send you a memo telling you to take more exercise."

Uncle Sam: I want you..to live and pay taxes...stop smoking!

'Because Thanksgiving is about a bountiful harvest. That's why we have to eat all these vegetables.'

Germany: willingness for anti-corona vaccination decreases!

Say balls to testicular cancer, remember to check your crown jewels regularly.

Man reads note, which reads: Have been diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease, I don't know where your dinner is.

"The cape comes off too."

Preventive medicine.

"Extra large sanitary pads and extra small ones, pads for the night..."