Alternative Therapy Advocate Gifts

"Well, thanks for coming over with the soup and the subtle condemnations of my use of Western medicine."

Self help acupuncture

"Perhaps later on we can go back to my psychiatrist's office for some couples therapy?"

You got what you deserve … you deserve each other.

'Occasionally the Dr. asks me to get real with people.'

"1. Flimsig used pallets, old foam 2. Stinkum goat wool 3. Beetup recycled lumber 4. Riskig kerosene lamp 5. Stupor hand blown by Nils 6. Smokum found on beach in Mendocino 7. Woblig 100% driftwood"

"My dream is to have a little house and a white picket fence wired with explosives."

"All I take anymore is mushrooms for my anxiety, ketamine for my depression, and ibuprofen for the goblins constantly eating my feet."

"Try letting the ball come to you."

I'm tired of your games, Al. MY games? look who's talking! The guy with the role-playing hand puppets!

"I'm putting you on country music."

"Oh, you silly girl, you! Don't tell me you brought home another husband."

"So tell me more about the dog sitter."

"I'm sensing a nostalgia for when your mother rubbed butter on them."

Last Road Rage Therapist for 500 Miles

We at pharmacorp are 100% behind the benefits of spiritual and artistic therapies which is why we've developed 'megazymol' to enhance the experience!

"I can't stop conducting random security checks."

Psychiatry. Ordinary therapeutic techniques have been unsuccessful, but I have a crazy idea that just might work!

Flo figured that since she was using medical marijuana during chemo, she might as well go hippy retro.

'Extreme acupuncture.'

Crazy Straw. Crazy Straw after therapy

"It doesn't matter if anyone believes in you. . . what's important is that you believe in yourself!"

"He went to an alternative therapy seminar to find ways of reducing his stress levels..."

'Got anything for a headache?'

Teacher to student: 'I taught your father. He owes me $3,000 for therapy.'

"My joints... are almost done"

"Ten years of therapy, and finally I’ve managed to replace my rage addiction with sarcasm."

"Well, I think you're wonderful."

Acupuncture - Pin the Tail on the Donkey.

'We can do extensive blood work, take x-rays, check your prostate. . .or I could sell you some great weed for $50.'

'I'm kind of a survivalist myself. I roast my own coffee and distil my own gin.'

'I understand your reluctance to speak but your marriage is in a rut and your wife needs your input.'

"The doctor says your injury is not serious...we're going home."

'Please do not ask for change.'

"As a vegan vampire I suck but I don't swallow."