Alternative Therapy Explorer Gifts

"This is not working. Can I go back on the valium?"

Flo figured that since she was using medical marijuana during chemo, she might as well go hippy retro.

We at pharmacorp are 100% behind the benefits of spiritual and artistic therapies which is why we've developed 'megazymol' to enhance the experience!

"All I take anymore is mushrooms for my anxiety, ketamine for my depression, and ibuprofen for the goblins constantly eating my feet."

Self help acupuncture

"She's fine. She just needs some tofu."

I see they're curing smoking by acupuncture! They stick needles into cigarettes!

"She's fine. She just needs some tofu."

Hot Pie Therapy

'You were right Doc: Jumping over the monn did boost my self esteem!'

Emoticon Encouragement Therapy

Psychiatry. I got in touch with my inner child, and now I'm going broke buying video games!

'I feel like such a failure: They have to process my milk to make it low-fat...'

"I'm putting you on country music."

"How much is this going to cost me?"

'A mother complex! Are you sure?'

Man in a tortoise shell visiting a psychiatrist.

'Look at the bright side -- having a business fail when you're thirty is great preparation for your Midlife Crisis.'

"Apparently you're a bi-polar bear."

"You have to remember you're not responsible for other people's happiness."

"I know it seems cruel, but it's the only way for him to get rid of that silly technophobia."

"Apparently, I'm fun, but I'm no fun in bed."

'I'm going to refer you to Dr. Keinsorge -- he actually enjoys this sort of thing.'

Psychiatry. Ordinary therapeutic techniques have been unsuccessful, but I have a crazy idea that just might work!

"Too much caution can take all the fun out of life." "Mind if I get a second opinion?"

"CBD… oil… CBD… oil…"

"Aren't you getting a little carried away with this herbal medicine, Doctor?"

'He's the star of a new medical series.'

Tell me about the voices in your head, Al. On the one hand, they tell me to do horrible things. On the other hand, they sing the sweetest harmonies since the Mills Brothers.

"There's only so much bat-mansplaining a girl can take."

"Okay, Jaxcsunn, stay still in the crystal circle while I douse you in essential oils."

It's always the same dream. I'm in therapy, analyzing my recurring dream.

'I suffer from depression too Ms Frost. Sometimes I'm not even motivated to get out of bed!'

'I can't wait for a generic version of eyes of newts to come out.'

"No, not us. Do something every day that scares you."