Alternative Treatment Explorer Gifts

Hash Oil

"She's fine. She just needs some tofu."

Self help acupuncture

Hot Pie Therapy

'You were right Doc: Jumping over the monn did boost my self esteem!'

Emoticon Encouragement Therapy

Psychiatry. I got in touch with my inner child, and now I'm going broke buying video games!

"All I take anymore is mushrooms for my anxiety, ketamine for my depression, and ibuprofen for the goblins constantly eating my feet."

'I feel like such a failure: They have to process my milk to make it low-fat...'

"I'm putting you on country music."

'A mother complex! Are you sure?'

"How much is this going to cost me?"

'Look at the bright side -- having a business fail when you're thirty is great preparation for your Midlife Crisis.'

Man in a tortoise shell visiting a psychiatrist.

"Apparently you're a bi-polar bear."

"You have to remember you're not responsible for other people's happiness."

"I know it seems cruel, but it's the only way for him to get rid of that silly technophobia."

We at pharmacorp are 100% behind the benefits of spiritual and artistic therapies which is why we've developed 'megazymol' to enhance the experience!

"Apparently, I'm fun, but I'm no fun in bed."

Psychiatry. Ordinary therapeutic techniques have been unsuccessful, but I have a crazy idea that just might work!

"Aren't you getting a little carried away with this herbal medicine, Doctor?"

'I'm going to refer you to Dr. Keinsorge -- he actually enjoys this sort of thing.'

"CBD… oil… CBD… oil…"

"Too much caution can take all the fun out of life." "Mind if I get a second opinion?"

Tell me about the voices in your head, Al. On the one hand, they tell me to do horrible things. On the other hand, they sing the sweetest harmonies since the Mills Brothers.

"There's only so much bat-mansplaining a girl can take."

"Okay, Jaxcsunn, stay still in the crystal circle while I douse you in essential oils."

It's always the same dream. I'm in therapy, analyzing my recurring dream.

Flo figured that since she was using medical marijuana during chemo, she might as well go hippy retro.

'The pain in my head always seems to subside when I flush your bills down the toilet!'

"No, not us. Do something every day that scares you."

'I suffer from depression too Ms Frost. Sometimes I'm not even motivated to get out of bed!'

'I can't wait for a generic version of eyes of newts to come out.'

"He went to an alternative therapy seminar to find ways of reducing his stress levels..."

Sadie, we need to see a couple's counselor. Yuck. No way! I won't spend a bunch of dough to have some halfwit tell me how to live my life! But I found an inexpensive counselor who will just listen to us talk through our issues. Counseling $10. This end up.