Alternative Treatment Enthusiast Gifts

Shrink Hemorrhoids without Surgery.

"What did you say about the health of my gut biome?"

Self help acupuncture

'With these alternative fertility treatments you never quite know how things turn out,'

Jesus's First and Less-Heralded Miracle Walk,

"All I take anymore is mushrooms for my anxiety, ketamine for my depression, and ibuprofen for the goblins constantly eating my feet."

"I'm putting you on country music."

"I'm sensing a nostalgia for when your mother rubbed butter on them."

"I thought I'd give Western medicine one more chance."

We at pharmacorp are 100% behind the benefits of spiritual and artistic therapies which is why we've developed 'megazymol' to enhance the experience!

Psychiatry. Ordinary therapeutic techniques have been unsuccessful, but I have a crazy idea that just might work!

'Take two of these, and call me in the morning!'

Man to other coming out of Alternative Health Club: 'I had total joint replacement - they switched me from hemp to medical marijuana.'

Flo figured that since she was using medical marijuana during chemo, she might as well go hippy retro.

'Extreme acupuncture.'

'I've got an appointment with Mr. Payne.' - 'He'll see you now.' - 'Okay, take a deep br-' - 'Gah!' - 'Great, now turn ov-' - 'Argh!' - 'And a final tw-' - 'Mummy!' - '*Sob*' - 'Okay, all done.' - 'Did you, by any chance...' - '...hear you crying...'

"He went to an alternative therapy seminar to find ways of reducing his stress levels..."

"Lately my joints are stiff." "You're rollin' 'em too tight. Try vaping."

'If that doesn't work, nothing will.'

'Got anything for a headache?'

Acupuncture - Pin the Tail on the Donkey.

'We don't have a health plan but our accountant knows Reiki.'

Man passes Holistic Health Clinic and sees Holistic Donuts.

'And just where did you study medicine?'

"I thought you said you were dating a rich doctor!"

Cowboy Acupuncture

"I used to think that hypnotherapy was a pseudo-science but Phil has convinced me otherwise."

Acupressure Gauge

"Sergio, we don't have to spend so much money on health insurance."

"If you ask me, your Christmas gift return policy is too liberal."

"She's fine. She just needs some tofu."

"We’ve been told to cut the drugs budget so in future Louella here will be chanting away your pain."

'I was in the circus before I took up acupuncture.'

"Look at this: Acupuncture, aromatherapy, herbal tea. We could be dealing with a homoeopathic killer."