Alternative Treatment Seeker Gifts

Ruth began to regret visiting the homoeopathic practitioner.

Self help acupuncture

Woman and pets with hair sticking straight up all enter Stress Management Clinic.

"Freudian, Jungian, Adlerian – none of it compares to retail therapy."

"But can't I be feared and loved?"

'So tell me why you think you're suffering from seasonal ineffective disorder.'

'I can't control my anger when people get too close to my kids...'

"Nobody ever asked about my mental health."

"Instead of years of therapy, I decided to go for chocolate."

Pet a Puppy

"I only like their bad albums – the good ones are too commercial."

"I've finally found a therapist who understands options."

"Have you ever thought of just knocking this 'half-empty glass' OFF the counter?"

The Physiciatrist...

'Occasionally the Dr. asks me to get real with people.'

'We never go anywhere together except here.'

'I guess it was a breakthrough - My free-floating anxiety crashed.'

'Your wife says you act like a fool. I thought you said she never pays attention to you.'

'I hate all holidays!'

Psychiatrist says: 'Oh, no! Not another fruit cake?'

"I'm an oldest child trapped in the body of a middle child."

Turmoil change.

"The damsels, the knights, I guess I'm just burnt out."

How to cope in Los Angeles vs. New York

Bob began seeing his mother, who gave him up for adoption, professionally, three times a week. It didn't help much.

"All I take anymore is mushrooms for my anxiety, ketamine for my depression, and ibuprofen for the goblins constantly eating my feet."

"Nd how did tht mke u feel?"

Emotional Support Pest

'I think I'm getting somewhere. On the way over I stopped to smell the flowers.'

"Returning to standard time is always difficult. I gain an hour of worrying."

"I did seize the day. But then it seized me right back and used some kind of jujitsu move to flip me on my ass."

"I'm putting you on country music."

"I'm guessing you're a germaphobe?"