Traditional Treatment Seeker Gifts

"I think I need a prescription, Doctor. Those herbal remedies have gotten so expensive I can't afford them!"

"Can we do that again tomorrow night?"

Woman and pets with hair sticking straight up all enter Stress Management Clinic.

"Freudian, Jungian, Adlerian – none of it compares to retail therapy."

"But can't I be feared and loved?"

'So tell me why you think you're suffering from seasonal ineffective disorder.'

(When I'm good I'm very very good, but when I'm bad I'm... Well….) (Horrid?)

"Nobody ever asked about my mental health."

'I can't control my anger when people get too close to my kids...'

"Instead of years of therapy, I decided to go for chocolate."

Pet a Puppy

"Only three more miles and tonight we're good for tiramisu!"

My Brother Al once went through a period of depression, your honor. He would just sit around in his robe all day. Then his psychiatrist got him out of his funk. Would you like to have his doctor's phone number? ? ?

'I have multiple personalities and they are all following me on Twitter.'

"I've finally found a therapist who understands options."

"Have you ever thought of just knocking this 'half-empty glass' OFF the counter?"

The Physiciatrist...

'I gotta admit it doc. . . My wife was right, a little time on the couch and I already feel better.'

'We never go anywhere together except here.'

'Occasionally the Dr. asks me to get real with people.'

'I guess it was a breakthrough - My free-floating anxiety crashed.'

"I'm an oldest child trapped in the body of a middle child."

'I hate all holidays!'

'Your wife says you act like a fool. I thought you said she never pays attention to you.'

Psychiatrist says: 'Oh, no! Not another fruit cake?'

Turmoil change.

'Doctor, how much acupuncture experience DO you have?'

Bob began seeing his mother, who gave him up for adoption, professionally, three times a week. It didn't help much.

"Nd how did tht mke u feel?"

"The damsels, the knights, I guess I'm just burnt out."

Emotional Support Pest

How to cope in Los Angeles vs. New York

'I think I'm getting somewhere. On the way over I stopped to smell the flowers.'

"Returning to standard time is always difficult. I gain an hour of worrying."

"I did seize the day. But then it seized me right back and used some kind of jujitsu move to flip me on my ass."