Traditional Treatment Seeker Gifts

"I think I need a prescription, Doctor. Those herbal remedies have gotten so expensive I can't afford them!"

"Can we do that again tomorrow night?"

Woman and pets with hair sticking straight up all enter Stress Management Clinic.

"Freudian, Jungian, Adlerian – none of it compares to retail therapy."

"But can't I be feared and loved?"

(When I'm good I'm very very good, but when I'm bad I'm... Well….) (Horrid?)

'I can't control my anger when people get too close to my kids...'

"Nobody ever asked about my mental health."

'So tell me why you think you're suffering from seasonal ineffective disorder.'

"Instead of years of therapy, I decided to go for chocolate."

Pet a Puppy

"Only three more miles and tonight we're good for tiramisu!"

"I've finally found a therapist who understands options."

"Have you ever thought of just knocking this 'half-empty glass' OFF the counter?"

The Physiciatrist...

'Occasionally the Dr. asks me to get real with people.'

'We never go anywhere together except here.'

'I guess it was a breakthrough - My free-floating anxiety crashed.'

'Your wife says you act like a fool. I thought you said she never pays attention to you.'

'I hate all holidays!'

Psychiatrist says: 'Oh, no! Not another fruit cake?'

"I'm an oldest child trapped in the body of a middle child."

Turmoil change.

'Doctor, how much acupuncture experience DO you have?'

"The damsels, the knights, I guess I'm just burnt out."

Bob began seeing his mother, who gave him up for adoption, professionally, three times a week. It didn't help much.

How to cope in Los Angeles vs. New York

"Nd how did tht mke u feel?"

Emotional Support Pest

'I think I'm getting somewhere. On the way over I stopped to smell the flowers.'

"Returning to standard time is always difficult. I gain an hour of worrying."

"I did seize the day. But then it seized me right back and used some kind of jujitsu move to flip me on my ass."

"I'm guessing you're a germaphobe?"