Alternative Therapy Buffs Gifts

Free neck massages.

"Everyone at Megadrug is committed to the benefits of spoken therapies, which is why we developed 'nitrazone' to enhance the experience."

Self help acupuncture

"Just keep quiet and listen to what we have to say."

"You might be interested in our encounter group for people with transmission problems."

'I see you in five years from now, you're still coming to see me. Do you want me to book the appointments in advance?'

"All I take anymore is mushrooms for my anxiety, ketamine for my depression, and ibuprofen for the goblins constantly eating my feet."

'I beleive I have a new approach to psychotherapy, but, like everything else, the FDA tells me it first has to be tested on mice.'

'You lost your home and farm. Do you want to talk about it?

"I'm putting you on country music."

"I'm going to level with you. I find you to be disturbingly insane."

'Since I've been identifying with you, I've been appointed director of the Millwood Psychiatric Institute.'

'I have to admit I was skeptical at first, but their hooves are magical, Magical, I say!'

Express Therapy

"I'm sensing a nostalgia for when your mother rubbed butter on them."

'The way this works is that you say the first thing that comes to your mind...'

"I'm sorry, my therapist told me to give up slaying dragons."

We at pharmacorp are 100% behind the benefits of spiritual and artistic therapies which is why we've developed 'megazymol' to enhance the experience!

'Sometimes, I'm like... wow! And then, I'm like... whoa! And then, I'm like... damn!'

'It's a deal then-I'll waive my fee if you'll do my son's birthay party..'

Man to other coming out of Alternative Health Club: 'I had total joint replacement - they switched me from hemp to medical marijuana.'

Good shrink, bad shrink.

Flo figured that since she was using medical marijuana during chemo, she might as well go hippy retro.

"He's a mental-health critic."

'Extreme acupuncture.'

'Well, yes, when you put it that way, I am a selfish male afraid of commitment, but 'Lone Wolf' sounds better...'

'Got anything for a headache?'

And just how long have you had this impending feeling of doom?

"This isn't what I had in mind. . ."

"He went to an alternative therapy seminar to find ways of reducing his stress levels..."

"I bark and I bark and I bark, and yet, somehow, I'm still unhappy."

"Were you even listening to me? I don't have a mother to blame anything on!"

The Adventures of Morton - Harmless juggler.