Alternative Therapy Buffs Gifts

Free neck massages.

"Everyone at Megadrug is committed to the benefits of spoken therapies, which is why we developed 'nitrazone' to enhance the experience."

Self help acupuncture

"Just keep quiet and listen to what we have to say."

"You might be interested in our encounter group for people with transmission problems."

'I see you in five years from now, you're still coming to see me. Do you want me to book the appointments in advance?'

"All I take anymore is mushrooms for my anxiety, ketamine for my depression, and ibuprofen for the goblins constantly eating my feet."

'I beleive I have a new approach to psychotherapy, but, like everything else, the FDA tells me it first has to be tested on mice.'

'You lost your home and farm. Do you want to talk about it?

"I'm putting you on country music."

'I have to admit I was skeptical at first, but their hooves are magical, Magical, I say!'

'Since I've been identifying with you, I've been appointed director of the Millwood Psychiatric Institute.'

"I'm going to level with you. I find you to be disturbingly insane."

Express Therapy

"I'm sensing a nostalgia for when your mother rubbed butter on them."

'The way this works is that you say the first thing that comes to your mind...'

"I'm sorry, my therapist told me to give up slaying dragons."

We at pharmacorp are 100% behind the benefits of spiritual and artistic therapies which is why we've developed 'megazymol' to enhance the experience!

'Sometimes, I'm like... wow! And then, I'm like... whoa! And then, I'm like... damn!'

Man to other coming out of Alternative Health Club: 'I had total joint replacement - they switched me from hemp to medical marijuana.'

Psychiatry. Ordinary therapeutic techniques have been unsuccessful, but I have a crazy idea that just might work!

'It's a deal then-I'll waive my fee if you'll do my son's birthay party..'

Good shrink, bad shrink.

"He's a mental-health critic."

Flo figured that since she was using medical marijuana during chemo, she might as well go hippy retro.

'Extreme acupuncture.'

'I'm beginning to see some change in you.'

"I'm going to use Aversion Therapy. Get better or pay me $300 an hour."

"He went to an alternative therapy seminar to find ways of reducing his stress levels..."

"I bark and I bark and I bark, and yet, somehow, I'm still unhappy."

And just how long have you had this impending feeling of doom?

The Adventures of Morton - Harmless juggler.

"Were you even listening to me? I don't have a mother to blame anything on!"

"You feel like a gatherer trapped in a hunter's body?"

"This isn't what I had in mind. . ."