Alternative Health Gifts

Aromatherapy.

Street merchants 'Hair wraps' 'Henna Tattoos' 'Colonic irrigation'

'How optimistic are you about the future?'

'Who would have thought there was a market for it? We're going to be rich George!...'

"And this one is made of ancient crystals that detoxify the air and remove all the money from your pocket."

"Have you spoken to an herbalist?"

'I'm just not sure how much more I can teach you.'

"While we don't believe in vaccination for our child, we're not entirely against keeping him safe and healthy."

"She's fine. She just needs some tofu."

"What did you say about the health of my gut biome?"

Self help acupuncture

Institute of Health next to Alternative medicine dept

'With these alternative fertility treatments you never quite know how things turn out,'

Jesus's First and Less-Heralded Miracle Walk,

'You've got, like, a Feng Shui problem with your pancreas, dude.'

New Age Store.

"You won’t find a more effective antidepressant."

Traditional vs alternative medicine.

Doctor receiving advice from patient's mother

'Doctor, how much acupuncture experience DO you have?'

Admit it Doc. You're jealous because my home remedy worked better than your fancy prescription!

"Looks like your Yang is on the move again."

"All I take anymore is mushrooms for my anxiety, ketamine for my depression, and ibuprofen for the goblins constantly eating my feet."

"Honey, why don’t you tell Tony and Karen about your microdosing-healing-group thingy or whatever the heck it is?"

If all else falls...Mom's Chicken Soup

'Interesting presentation Bradley, except you were supposed to be discussing the nature of the DOW.'

"I'm putting you on country music."

Shaman reads magazine entitled 'Witch Doctor'.

'I have to admit I was skeptical at first, but their hooves are magical, Magical, I say!'

"I thought I'd give Western medicine one more chance."

'Thyme heals all wounds.'

'He's the star of a new medical series.'

'2 chocolate truffles in the morning and 2 chocolate truffles in the evening should cure your broken heart.'

Man to other coming out of Alternative Health Club: 'I had total joint replacement - they switched me from hemp to medical marijuana.'

'2 chocolate truffles in the morning and 2 in the evening should cure your broken heart,,,'