Alternative Healing Seeker Pillows

Fakir Shrink.

"She's fine. She just needs some tofu."

Self help acupuncture

"I only like their bad albums – the good ones are too commercial."

'With these alternative fertility treatments you never quite know how things turn out,'

Jesus's First and Less-Heralded Miracle Walk,

"All I take anymore is mushrooms for my anxiety, ketamine for my depression, and ibuprofen for the goblins constantly eating my feet."

Shaman reads magazine entitled 'Witch Doctor'.

"I thought I'd give Western medicine one more chance."

"I've never seen Tia Carmen so excited about a grand opening."

We at pharmacorp are 100% behind the benefits of spiritual and artistic therapies which is why we've developed 'megazymol' to enhance the experience!

'Take two of these, and call me in the morning!'

"Aren't you getting a little carried away with this herbal medicine, Doctor?"

"CBD… oil… CBD… oil…"

"Okay, Jaxcsunn, stay still in the crystal circle while I douse you in essential oils."

Flo figured that since she was using medical marijuana during chemo, she might as well go hippy retro.

'He touched you and you can walk again? I just got an illegible prescription.'

'I can't wait for a generic version of eyes of newts to come out.'

'I've got an appointment with Mr. Payne.' - 'He'll see you now.' - 'Okay, take a deep br-' - 'Gah!' - 'Great, now turn ov-' - 'Argh!' - 'And a final tw-' - 'Mummy!' - '*Sob*' - 'Okay, all done.' - 'Did you, by any chance...' - '...hear you crying...'

'How is the detox going?'

"And if Ooh, Eeh, Ooh Ah Ah doesn't work, we'll try Walla Walla Bing Bang."

'Got anything for a headache?'

"He went to an alternative therapy seminar to find ways of reducing his stress levels..."

"Lately my joints are stiff." "You're rollin' 'em too tight. Try vaping."

Man passes Holistic Health Clinic and sees Holistic Donuts.

"It's just that you might find food a lot cheaper!"

"I thought you said you were dating a rich doctor!"

"The doctor says your injury is not serious...we're going home."

'How optimistic are you about the future?'

Acupressure Gauge

"Any pain relief with the cannabis?"

"This is just a placebo cast, but it makes a lot of people feel better."

"She's fine. She just needs some tofu."