Alternative Healing Pillows

"This is my son the non-traditional healer."

Advertisements for 'Brother Marsh- faith healer and Deacon 'Speed' Alton- emergency room'.

"What did you say about the health of my gut biome?"

"She's fine. She just needs some tofu."

Self help acupuncture

'Don't feel bad — all tree huggers get a splinter now and then.'

'I'm just not sure how much more I can teach you.'

Institute of Health next to Alternative medicine dept

Jesus's First and Less-Heralded Miracle Walk,

'You've got, like, a Feng Shui problem with your pancreas, dude.'

New Age Store.

"You won’t find a more effective antidepressant."

Traditional vs alternative medicine.

Doctor receiving advice from patient's mother

'Doctor, how much acupuncture experience DO you have?'

Admit it Doc. You're jealous because my home remedy worked better than your fancy prescription!

"This tea isn't helping – I'm taking a gummy."

"Looks like your Yang is on the move again."

"Honey, why don’t you tell Tony and Karen about your microdosing-healing-group thingy or whatever the heck it is?"

"All I take anymore is mushrooms for my anxiety, ketamine for my depression, and ibuprofen for the goblins constantly eating my feet."

If all else falls...Mom's Chicken Soup

'Interesting presentation Bradley, except you were supposed to be discussing the nature of the DOW.'

"I'm putting you on country music."

'Who would have thought there was a market for it? We're going to be rich George!...'

'We can try to fit it with an artificial limb.'

"I've never seen Tia Carmen so excited about a grand opening."

'I have to admit I was skeptical at first, but their hooves are magical, Magical, I say!'

"I thought I'd give Western medicine one more chance."

Shaman reads magazine entitled 'Witch Doctor'.

'Thyme heals all wounds.'

"Malachite promotes inner peace, hope and security, but I can’t say for certain it will help you put up with your boss."

Man to other coming out of Alternative Health Club: 'I had total joint replacement - they switched me from hemp to medical marijuana.'

'2 chocolate truffles in the morning and 2 in the evening should cure your broken heart,,,'

Acupuncturist Society Cocktail Party - 'For heaven's sake, Brian, it's only a pineapple chunk!'

"CBD… oil… CBD… oil…"