Alternative Healing Explorer Pillows

'I won't be coming to see you again. I've purchased a therapeutic mattress.'

"She's fine. She just needs some tofu."

Self help acupuncture

"All I take anymore is mushrooms for my anxiety, ketamine for my depression, and ibuprofen for the goblins constantly eating my feet."

"I've never seen Tia Carmen so excited about a grand opening."

We at pharmacorp are 100% behind the benefits of spiritual and artistic therapies which is why we've developed 'megazymol' to enhance the experience!

"CBD… oil… CBD… oil…"

'He's the star of a new medical series.'

"Aren't you getting a little carried away with this herbal medicine, Doctor?"

"Okay, Jaxcsunn, stay still in the crystal circle while I douse you in essential oils."

'He touched you and you can walk again? I just got an illegible prescription.'

Flo figured that since she was using medical marijuana during chemo, she might as well go hippy retro.

'I can't wait for a generic version of eyes of newts to come out.'

Fakir Shrink.

"And if Ooh, Eeh, Ooh Ah Ah doesn't work, we'll try Walla Walla Bing Bang."

'My guru thinks you're nuts.'

"It's just that you might find food a lot cheaper!"

'How optimistic are you about the future?'

Itchy Bum? WD-3000.

"She's fine. She just needs some tofu."

"Sergio, we don't have to spend so much money on health insurance."

"Any pain relief with the cannabis?"

Chicken soup is in an intravenous drip.

"Well Doctor, I thought if a placebo works, this might as well..."

Advertisements for 'Brother Marsh- faith healer and Deacon 'Speed' Alton- emergency room'.

'Laughter is not always the best medicine, Mr. Jonic.'

"This is just a placebo cast, but it makes a lot of people feel better."

'I believe one of the doctors here practices alternative medicine.'

"What's the big deal? All these politicians talk about a health care plan! I have a health care plan!"

"If this company can make an herbal soda...there's no reason why I can't make and sell my own too!"

'Have you tried Lourdes?'

'I don't suppose there's any chance of a 'professional discount'?'

"For our session today, I'd like to try something a little different."

"So, where'd you learn acupuncture, Doc?"