Alternative Wellness Explorer Pillows

'My guru thinks you're nuts.'

"What did you say about the health of my gut biome?"

"She's fine. She just needs some tofu."

Self help acupuncture

"All I take anymore is mushrooms for my anxiety, ketamine for my depression, and ibuprofen for the goblins constantly eating my feet."

Shaman reads magazine entitled 'Witch Doctor'.

We at pharmacorp are 100% behind the benefits of spiritual and artistic therapies which is why we've developed 'megazymol' to enhance the experience!

"CBD… oil… CBD… oil…"

"Aren't you getting a little carried away with this herbal medicine, Doctor?"

Lactose intolerance.

Odd Spas

"Okay, Jaxcsunn, stay still in the crystal circle while I douse you in essential oils."

Flo figured that since she was using medical marijuana during chemo, she might as well go hippy retro.

'I can't wait for a generic version of eyes of newts to come out.'

Je-Hereford's Witnesses

'How is the detox going?'

"Tell you what, dude, I'm writing you a prescription for a scented candle and some granola."

"It's just that you might find food a lot cheaper!"

Sir, we have plenty of fine herbal tea for you to sample...but you're drinking the potpourri.

'And just where did you study medicine?'

"She's fine. She just needs some tofu."

"This is just a placebo cast, but it makes a lot of people feel better."

Itchy Bum? WD-3000.

'Laughter is not always the best medicine, Mr. Jonic.'

"Any pain relief with the cannabis?"

"Well Doctor, I thought if a placebo works, this might as well..."

'I believe one of the doctors here practices alternative medicine.'

"What's the big deal? All these politicians talk about a health care plan! I have a health care plan!"

Aisle 3; 300 - 500 calories per serving.

'Tell me. How many acupuncture treatments did doctor Wing give you?'

"For our session today, I'd like to try something a little different."

"If this company can make an herbal soda...there's no reason why I can't make and sell my own too!"

"So, where'd you learn acupuncture, Doc?"