Healing Seekers Gifts

"The book wasn't intended to hurt my stepmother - it was to help myself and others like me begin to heal."

"Good game."

2021

"I'm afraid I can't green-light anything - you'll just have to pray."

"Son, it's time you learned the benefits of sitting around doing nothing."

Woman and pets with hair sticking straight up all enter Stress Management Clinic.

"Freudian, Jungian, Adlerian – none of it compares to retail therapy."

"This next one is called 'The Sermon on the Mount.'"

'You're through around here.. turn in your rubber donut!'

"Could you go back to the front desk? The receptionist has some forms for you to fill out."

"It's a letter from the Vatican. They say that whilst walking the streets without stepping into dog poo is nearly as miraculous as walking on water, it's not sufficient to canonize me!"

"But can't I be feared and loved?"

Road sign: 'No Passing Zone... This, too, shall pass.'

'I'm just not sure how much more I can teach you.'

'Enlightenment isn't EITHER overrated!'

"Today we'll be performing some much needed maintenance on Miss Trimbles weak pelvic floor."

'I can't control my anger when people get too close to my kids...'

'So tell me why you think you're suffering from seasonal ineffective disorder.'

"Trust me Jesus, if you want to make a bigger impact work on being seeker friendly."

"Nobody ever asked about my mental health."

'Just ask yourself -- Are you better off now than you were two thousand years ago?'

'Wow! -- Talk about a paradigm shift!'

Pet a Puppy

'Don't just sit there thinking. Meditate.'

Fishing with God

"Then one day, as I caught a tennis ball in midair, I asked myself, 'Is this all there is?'"

'The meaning of life is dog food.'

"How do you say ‘Where is the bathroom’ in Sanskrit?"

"All we have left is standing room only."

'He attained Nirvana in two weeks? - he's GOTTA be using steroids!'

"Nature speaks to me of God’s presence, yet God is a total stranger to the restless world of men." "Why the #!@* is there no signal?!"

'Of course homosexuality is not a sin, handsome.'

"Needs to get a life"

Zenemies.

He avoids wrath, envy, lust, greed, gluttony and sloth -- the problem is he's proud of it!