Blessing Seeker Gifts

"Allergy season."

I'm tired of blessings in disguise--if it's al the same to you, I want one I can recognize immediately!

"Good game."

"I'm afraid I can't green-light anything - you'll just have to pray."

"Son, it's time you learned the benefits of sitting around doing nothing."

"I want him to have the serenity to accept the things he can't pee on, the patience to pee on the things he can outside, and the wisdom to know the difference." "But I'll probably just take him to a trainer."

Sometimes he just stood back and admired the breathtaking scenery of his life.

"I spend my day prepping for a good night"

A woman floats in the pool under the shade of an airplane

"This next one is called 'The Sermon on the Mount.'"

'You're through around here.. turn in your rubber donut!'

"Could you go back to the front desk? The receptionist has some forms for you to fill out."

Turn, turn and turn.

Road sign: 'No Passing Zone... This, too, shall pass.'

'Just ask yourself -- Are you better off now than you were two thousand years ago?'

"Trust me Jesus, if you want to make a bigger impact work on being seeker friendly."

'I'm just not sure how much more I can teach you.'

'Enlightenment isn't EITHER overrated!'

'Wow! -- Talk about a paradigm shift!'

'Don't just sit there thinking. Meditate.'

Fishing with God

"Then one day, as I caught a tennis ball in midair, I asked myself, 'Is this all there is?'"

Crowded Ice Fishing

A daily rubdown with a beard brush will wrangle awkward bristles and train them downwards...

'He attained Nirvana in two weeks? - he's GOTTA be using steroids!'

He avoids wrath, envy, lust, greed, gluttony and sloth -- the problem is he's proud of it!

"All we have left is standing room only."

'Of course homosexuality is not a sin, handsome.'

"Nature speaks to me of God’s presence, yet God is a total stranger to the restless world of men." "Why the #!@* is there no signal?!"

"How do you say ‘Where is the bathroom’ in Sanskrit?"

'The meaning of life is dog food.'

My God, I need to fart.

A man deflates and dissolves into the ground and becomes a flower.

Zenemies.

"Well, that certainly killed my buzz."