Sacred Seeker Gifts

It was clear that, once again, Lyle was not being nominated for sainthood.

"Good game."

"Soul searching? Yes, you could call it that."

"I'm afraid I can't green-light anything - you'll just have to pray."

"I want him to have the serenity to accept the things he can't pee on, the patience to pee on the things he can outside, and the wisdom to know the difference." "But I'll probably just take him to a trainer."

Sometimes he just stood back and admired the breathtaking scenery of his life.

A woman floats in the pool under the shade of an airplane

'You're through around here.. turn in your rubber donut!'

"Could you go back to the front desk? The receptionist has some forms for you to fill out."

"It's a letter from the Vatican. They say that whilst walking the streets without stepping into dog poo is nearly as miraculous as walking on water, it's not sufficient to canonize me!"

"This next one is called 'The Sermon on the Mount.'"

Turn, turn and turn.

Road sign: 'No Passing Zone... This, too, shall pass.'

Kid to pastor: 'Which office is heaven?'

"Trust me Jesus, if you want to make a bigger impact work on being seeker friendly."

Night-time halo

'Enlightenment isn't EITHER overrated!'

'Just ask yourself -- Are you better off now than you were two thousand years ago?'

'I'm just not sure how much more I can teach you.'

'Wow! -- Talk about a paradigm shift!'

'Don't just sit there thinking. Meditate.'

Crowded Ice Fishing

A daily rubdown with a beard brush will wrangle awkward bristles and train them downwards...

'The meaning of life is dog food.'

"Needs to get a life"

"All we have left is standing room only."

Zenemies.

My God, I need to fart.

"Nature speaks to me of God’s presence, yet God is a total stranger to the restless world of men." "Why the #!@* is there no signal?!"

'A sitcom has to be quirky or formulaic. There is no middle way.'

"Then one day, as I caught a tennis ball in midair, I asked myself, 'Is this all there is?'"

Unguided imagery

A man deflates and dissolves into the ground and becomes a flower.