Alternative Healing Enthusiast Gifts

Kevin suspected that he had Dragon Sickness

"What did you say about the health of my gut biome?"

'With these alternative fertility treatments you never quite know how things turn out,'

Jesus's First and Less-Heralded Miracle Walk,

Doctor receiving advice from patient's mother

"I thought I'd give Western medicine one more chance."

Witch Doctor

Man to other coming out of Alternative Health Club: 'I had total joint replacement - they switched me from hemp to medical marijuana.'

'2 chocolate truffles in the morning and 2 in the evening should cure your broken heart,,,'

'Take two of these, and call me in the morning!'

Psychiatry. Ordinary therapeutic techniques have been unsuccessful, but I have a crazy idea that just might work!

'He touched you and you can walk again? I just got an illegible prescription.'

"Solar flares may be a contributing factor or perhaps it's a negative vibe sensitivity...."

'I've got an appointment with Mr. Payne.' - 'He'll see you now.' - 'Okay, take a deep br-' - 'Gah!' - 'Great, now turn ov-' - 'Argh!' - 'And a final tw-' - 'Mummy!' - '*Sob*' - 'Okay, all done.' - 'Did you, by any chance...' - '...hear you crying...'

"And if Ooh, Eeh, Ooh Ah Ah doesn't work, we'll try Walla Walla Bing Bang."

*Not suitable for those with an allergy to consciousness expansion

Fakir Shrink.

"My joints... are almost done"

"Lately my joints are stiff." "You're rollin' 'em too tight. Try vaping."

'If that doesn't work, nothing will.'

"He went to an alternative therapy seminar to find ways of reducing his stress levels..."

Acupuncture - Pin the Tail on the Donkey.

"Dude, we've struck cannabis oil! We're going to be rich!"

'We can do extensive blood work, take x-rays, check your prostate. . .or I could sell you some great weed for $50.'

'We don't have a health plan but our accountant knows Reiki.'

Man passes Holistic Health Clinic and sees Holistic Donuts.

'And just where did you study medicine?'

"The doctor says your injury is not serious...we're going home."

"I thought you said you were dating a rich doctor!"

"We’ve been told to cut the drugs budget so in future Louella here will be chanting away your pain."

Cowboy Acupuncture

"I used to think that hypnotherapy was a pseudo-science but Phil has convinced me otherwise."

Acupressure Gauge

"If you ask me, your Christmas gift return policy is too liberal."