Alternative Healing Enthusiast Gifts

Kevin suspected that he had Dragon Sickness

"What did you say about the health of my gut biome?"

'With these alternative fertility treatments you never quite know how things turn out,'

Jesus's First and Less-Heralded Miracle Walk,

Doctor receiving advice from patient's mother

"I thought I'd give Western medicine one more chance."

Man to other coming out of Alternative Health Club: 'I had total joint replacement - they switched me from hemp to medical marijuana.'

'2 chocolate truffles in the morning and 2 in the evening should cure your broken heart,,,'

'Take two of these, and call me in the morning!'

'He touched you and you can walk again? I just got an illegible prescription.'

'I've got an appointment with Mr. Payne.' - 'He'll see you now.' - 'Okay, take a deep br-' - 'Gah!' - 'Great, now turn ov-' - 'Argh!' - 'And a final tw-' - 'Mummy!' - '*Sob*' - 'Okay, all done.' - 'Did you, by any chance...' - '...hear you crying...'

"Solar flares may be a contributing factor or perhaps it's a negative vibe sensitivity...."

"He went to an alternative therapy seminar to find ways of reducing his stress levels..."

Fakir Shrink.

"Lately my joints are stiff." "You're rollin' 'em too tight. Try vaping."

'If that doesn't work, nothing will.'

"My joints... are almost done"

"And if Ooh, Eeh, Ooh Ah Ah doesn't work, we'll try Walla Walla Bing Bang."

Man passes Holistic Health Clinic and sees Holistic Donuts.

'We don't have a health plan but our accountant knows Reiki.'

'We can do extensive blood work, take x-rays, check your prostate. . .or I could sell you some great weed for $50.'

'And just where did you study medicine?'

"I thought you said you were dating a rich doctor!"

"The doctor says your injury is not serious...we're going home."

"We’ve been told to cut the drugs budget so in future Louella here will be chanting away your pain."

Cowboy Acupuncture

Advertisements for 'Brother Marsh- faith healer and Deacon 'Speed' Alton- emergency room'.

Chicken soup is in an intravenous drip.

"I used to think that hypnotherapy was a pseudo-science but Phil has convinced me otherwise."

"If you ask me, your Christmas gift return policy is too liberal."