Alcohol-free Aficionado Gifts

Non-alcoholic drinks.

"This place has the best happy hour."

"A retired superhero's re-purposed utility belt"

'We like the occasional drink on the patio.'

'Well, gotta get up early and start drinking again.'

We'll have Manhattans...

"Buy a man a six-pack, he drinks for a day. Teach him to brew, he drinks all his life."

'Your husband? He's just leaving...'

You're the botanicals in my gin

'Gimme a Canadian club on the rocks!'

"It's kind of sweet when they're all settled in like this."

'We only serve menacing drunks here Sir, not small insignificant ones.'

"Another flue shot, Larry.

"How about we settle your tab from the regular season?"

Al, why is my goldfish zigzagging? Perhaps sharing my beer with him was a case of misplaced generosity on my part.

"Grapes, Rye, Malt... I got into this through my vegetarianism."

"Jack Daniels-in-a-box"

'I told him if he didn't get here quick he'd miss out on all the beer and food.'

"When I was a child, I drank like a child, but when I became a man I put away childish drinks."

'Man...You age great!'

'Would you care to see our wine list, water list, soda list, tea list, coffee list, single malt scotch list, or beer list?'

Freaks of nature exhibit.

"Quick, I need a drink. Someone just called me Ma'am."

"I do like a plant that can hold its drink"

'Who says justice has to be the only thing on tap?'

"Finally a perfume store my husband will enjoy visiting."

Ascent of man from ape to beer swilling football lout.

Beer $.50. I've had lot of psychological therapy, but none of it seems to help. Maybe you

"Scientists may need a trillion dollar atom smasher to explore the fundamental questions of the universe, but all you need is one too many."

"Shower beers? Aisle eight."

"Thanks—I got it off Amazon."

Clancy Strip: Money and Beer

"This cheap can of domestic beer has a bouquet reminiscent of...beer."

'French hypermarket' ' 5 English or less' till

'Fried chickens.'