Alcohol-free Aficionado Gifts

Non-alcoholic drinks.

"This place has the best happy hour."

"A retired superhero's re-purposed utility belt"

'We like the occasional drink on the patio.'

'Well, gotta get up early and start drinking again.'

We'll have Manhattans...

"Buy a man a six-pack, he drinks for a day. Teach him to brew, he drinks all his life."

You're the botanicals in my gin

'Gimme a Canadian club on the rocks!'

'Your husband? He's just leaving...'

'We only serve menacing drunks here Sir, not small insignificant ones.'

"It's kind of sweet when they're all settled in like this."

"Another flue shot, Larry.

"Jack Daniels-in-a-box"

"How about we settle your tab from the regular season?"

"When I was a child, I drank like a child, but when I became a man I put away childish drinks."

"Grapes, Rye, Malt... I got into this through my vegetarianism."

'Man...You age great!'

'I told him if he didn't get here quick he'd miss out on all the beer and food.'

Freaks of nature exhibit.

"Quick, I need a drink. Someone just called me Ma'am."

'Would you care to see our wine list, water list, soda list, tea list, coffee list, single malt scotch list, or beer list?'

"Thanks—I got it off Amazon."

A Snowman falls down drunk outside a bar.

'The King of what?'

"Shower beers? Aisle eight."

"Scientists may need a trillion dollar atom smasher to explore the fundamental questions of the universe, but all you need is one too many."

'Fried chickens.'

'Who says justice has to be the only thing on tap?'

Clancy Strip: Money and Beer

Ascent of man from ape to beer swilling football lout.

'French hypermarket' ' 5 English or less' till

'That's her second pitcher and she doesn't even like beer - I guess she just likes to pee.'

"Finally a perfume store my husband will enjoy visiting."