Drinks Aficionado Gifts

"You call this ice?"

You drink to forget? I promise not to give you anything remotely worth remembering.

'The bar association barred me from going before the bar...So I came to a bar.'

'I can lick any man in the house!'

'He is our darts team captain,he always finishes on a double.'

'Cut me off when I start toasting my authors, bestsellers or not!'

'If that's Dorothy, we're not here.'

'Could I get some more spreadsheets down here?' *hic*

Tepid Beer - Going out of Beer.

Whiskey, gin...doesn't matter. I'm into flex fuels.

"You'll know when I've had enough. You'll have to wipe up the mess."

"How did Pino and Bette Noir get on the invitation list? She's a beast and all he does is whine."

'Excuse me, coming through.'

Tuesday is Wet Tea Bag Night

"Another dry scotch Manhattan, Mike. Make it a double."

'We like the occasional drink on the patio.'

'No ice.'

'Well, gotta get up early and start drinking again.'

Join me in a Martini?

'No standing while room is in motion.'

"Buy a man a six-pack, he drinks for a day. Teach him to brew, he drinks all his life."

'Your husband? He's just leaving...'

Shaken not stirred

"Wait, those crunchy, cheesy little fish thingies are free?!"

'Gimme a Canadian club on the rocks!'

You're the botanicals in my gin

'We only serve menacing drunks here Sir, not small insignificant ones.'

"It's kind of sweet when they're all settled in like this."

"When I was a child, I drank like a child, but when I became a man I put away childish drinks."

"Jack Daniels-in-a-box"

"Another flue shot, Larry.

Al, why is my goldfish zigzagging? Perhaps sharing my beer with him was a case of misplaced generosity on my part.

"How about we settle your tab from the regular season?"

"Quick, I need a drink. Someone just called me Ma'am."

'Would you care to see our wine list, water list, soda list, tea list, coffee list, single malt scotch list, or beer list?'