Drinking Enthusiast Gifts

"Anyone here a 'worthless, no-good drunken bum'?"

'We only serve menacing drunks here Sir, not small insignificant ones.'

'No! I'm not lending you any more money until you pay back what you owe me!' 'Forget it. I can't wait that long!'

"When I'm legless, make sure to switch me to the cheaper brands..."

"So what brings you to this godforsaken end of the bar?"

"Christmas - what a fuss eh?"

'We like the occasional drink on the patio.'

'Well, gotta get up early and start drinking again.'

"Moments like this make me glad I taught you how to fetch mojitos."

"Buy a man a six-pack, he drinks for a day. Teach him to brew, he drinks all his life."

'Your husband? He's just leaving...'

You're the botanicals in my gin

"As an avid red wine drinker, I can say, with certainty, that the notion that drinking clarity impares claret is false!"

'Gimme a Canadian club on the rocks!'

7 Dwarves of Retirement

"It's kind of sweet when they're all settled in like this."

"Jack Daniels-in-a-box"

"Another flue shot, Larry.

Al, why is my goldfish zigzagging? Perhaps sharing my beer with him was a case of misplaced generosity on my part.

"When I was a child, I drank like a child, but when I became a man I put away childish drinks."

"How about we settle your tab from the regular season?"

"Quick, I need a drink. Someone just called me Ma'am."

'Would you care to see our wine list, water list, soda list, tea list, coffee list, single malt scotch list, or beer list?'

'I'm going to try that 'vegan' thing, Joe -- give me some beer nuts.'

"In addition to the regular menu, today's specials are . . ."

Wine Tasting and Wine Guzzling

"I do like a plant that can hold its drink"

'The way I see it, drinking is its own reward.'

"Scientists may need a trillion dollar atom smasher to explore the fundamental questions of the universe, but all you need is one too many."

'Okay then, what's the price break on TWENTY drinks?'

"The Ususal, Mr. B?"

'The King of what?'

"You want to know why I drink?. . . I drink to forget!"

"There are no such things as problems, only opportunities."

A Snowman falls down drunk outside a bar.