Cocktail Aficionado Gifts

"We do a lot of amazing work bringing the arts to people who don't want the arts."

Four olives and a toothpick on Newton's Cradle.

"This is Miss Jones, Doctor - I want you to cheer her up. She's been through hell recently."

"This martini in canonical."

Worm job fair.

"Do you have any tooth-whitening vodka?"

"Phil's an expert networker. One drink and he's on schmooze-control."

"The food's fine, but the theme's a little over done."

Two people drinking Singapore Slings.

"Look, Nixon's no dope. If the people really wanted moral leadership, he'd give them moral leadership."

'... but the good news is, you don't need to stop smoking and drinking!'

In a hammock with a gin and tonic on a summers day

Santa and elves drinking eggnog.

'I could really use a stiff belt.'

'Shaken, not stirred.'

'Will that be on the rocks?'

'I'll have another flu shot.'

The Ol' Martini Hole

"But you can call me wife."

"You didn't specify which slippers, so I brought the L.L. Bean and UGG. Also, Mittens here made you an old-fashioned."

"Do you realize when he reached out to shake you sniffed his ass?"

"How about a drink for a harbinger of spring?"

"We've had to cancel the koi pond which I never really wanted anyway."

"With the return of cigars and martinis could war have been far behind?"

"They grow up so fast."

"What's so funny about two monkeys in a bar?"

"Why so grim, handsome?"

"What might you have written that I might say I've read?"

"In addition to our house vodka, we carry these distinctive imports: Gilbey's, Gordon's, Wolfschmidt, and Fleichmann's."

"Nan and Gordon are from California, but Northern California."

"What was it like, nabbing Reds?"

"You want to run a tab?"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, that's enough for you, Pal."

Easter Island moai as cocktails.

"I know where the bodies are buried. I buried them."