Cocktail Aficionado T-Shirts

"We do a lot of amazing work bringing the arts to people who don't want the arts."

Four olives and a toothpick on Newton's Cradle.

"This is Miss Jones, Doctor - I want you to cheer her up. She's been through hell recently."

"This martini in canonical."

Worm job fair.

"Do you have any tooth-whitening vodka?"

"Phil's an expert networker. One drink and he's on schmooze-control."

"The food's fine, but the theme's a little over done."

"Look, Nixon's no dope. If the people really wanted moral leadership, he'd give them moral leadership."

'I'll have another flu shot.'

'I could really use a stiff belt.'

In a hammock with a gin and tonic on a summers day

Santa and elves drinking eggnog.

'... but the good news is, you don't need to stop smoking and drinking!'

'Will that be on the rocks?'

'Shaken, not stirred.'

Two people drinking Singapore Slings.

"Why so grim, handsome?"

"It's been taken care of."

"Have you ever had the feeling you forgot to turn something off?"

"I know where the bodies are buried. I buried them."

Easter Island moai as cocktails.

"Shaketh."

"I'm still working on the salt rim."

"You want to run a tab?"

"What was it like, nabbing Reds?"

"Nan and Gordon are from California, but Northern California."

"In addition to our house vodka, we carry these distinctive imports: Gilbey's, Gordon's, Wolfschmidt, and Fleichmann's."

Fall Classic

"What might you have written that I might say I've read?"

The Ol' Martini Hole

"Try not to get irrepressible."

"Where do you see yourself being annoying in five years?"

"What's so funny about two monkeys in a bar?"

"They grow up so fast."